Shadow Dawn Updates & Extracts, Short Stories & Flash Fiction
Comments 57

Forest Of Obscurite

The Forest Of Obscurite was dark. Not just dim, or a little gloomy, but dark. Swallowing her pride Tara allowed for Greth to lead the way and kept close, doing her best to stay in the puddle of light from his torch.

“Watch your footing,” he’d warned her. “Nothing like this bitch to send you down cliffs you wouldn’t even know existed till you’re fallin’. She’s a clever one.”

“She?” Tara asked, crouching next to him as he’d checked the horses were tied up properly.

“She,” he’d nodded, checks finished.

“You act like it’s a person.”

“Who said it’s not?”

friday-fictioneers

by

Carol Forrester is a twenty-three year old writer trying to be a better one. Don’t ask her what her hobbies are because the list doesn’t get much beyond, reading, writing and talking about the same. She has a 2:1 BA degree in history from Bath Spa University and various poems and stories scattered across the net. Her flash fiction story ‘Glorious Silence’ was named as River Ram Press’ short story of the month for August 2014 and her short story ‘A Visit From The Fortune Teller’ has been showcased on the literary site Ink Pantry’s. Most recently, her poem ‘Sunsets’ was featured on Eyes Plus Words, and her personal blog Writing and Works hosts a mass of writing from across the last five years. She has been lucky enough to write guest posts for sites such as Inky Tavern and Song of The Forlorn and is always open to writing more and hosting guest bloggers here on Writing and Works. With hopes of publishing a novel in the next five years and perhaps a collection or two of smaller works, Carol Forrester is nothing if not ambitious. Her writing tries to cover every theme in human life and a lot of her work pulls inspiration from her own eccentric family in the rural wonders of Shropshire life.

57 Comments

  1. Carol,
    I like the idea of a sentient forest. That could lead to a whole series of geographical adventures. 🙂 Now, can she be reasoned with though?
    -David

    • I’ve actually used characters from one of my novels in this piece. The prompt reminded me that I never finished my ideas for the forest in the book properly and the image Rochelle provided sparked some fantastic imagery in my own mind.

    • Thank you Rochelle, I really enjoyed the prompt and writing something in a world I don’t spend enough time on. The prompt has actually sparked a few ideas, it should keep me in stories for a week at least.

    • Thanks for the typo spot, I’ll sort it now, and thank you for the comment. I’m glad that was the feeling you got from the piece.

  2. I like the personification of the forest…reminds me of Mirkwood from JRR Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings. Well done!

  3. A very mysterious and dark tale. I like the subtle under current flowing through the narrative, well done.
    Dee

    PS In the sentence ‘…Tara allowed for Greth to lead the way…’ you don’t need the ‘for’ and would have had an extra word.

    • Where would I have used it though! Oh my, the endless possibilities.
      Thanks for the advice, I’ll keep it in mind when I write the chapter up. 😀

      • I know, I wasn’t sure if I should mention it, it’s happened to me and I’ve had the sane quandary. 🙂

  4. This is a good story. I loved the phrase you used “puddle of light” and it had a nice twist at the end. You banner is spectacular btw!

  5. This is excellent Carol, I love this style of story where you are left with a question at the end with so many other questions unanswered. Well done I enjoyed this one very much.

    • Thank you, though I’m not sure if I’m going to have it that the forest dislikes all people. Perhaps just most, or perhaps just men.

  6. Excellent story! I love the mysterious, poetic feel to your writing. Your verb tenses were a little confusing, though. Instead of mixing past perfect (he’d warned, he’d checked, he’d nodded) with past (she asked), stick with plain old past (he warned, checked, nodded/she asked). It will place your characters in the same time and make the whole wonderful story more urgent as the reader walks with them through this forest!

    • I’ll keep your advice in mind when I write up the full chapter. Thanks for the comment, I’m glad you enjoyed the style of my writing. 😀

  7. What a thrilling and contemplative story! I can definitely sense her anxiety. Whenever I’m near a steep drop-off, my mind is always flooded with all the ways I could call to my death. And to have nature plotting against her…Whew, not a great situation! Awesome post!

  8. Interesting tale. The picture certainly lends itself to anthropomorphism of the trees. You have a quotation mark at the end of the sentence that ends with the word properly. Shouldn’t be there.

    • Thank you for pointing out the blip, it’s slightly horrifying to think I’ve missed when proofing. I think I might need to get the site an editor.
      *Sigh*, maybe when I actually make money from my writing.

Please take the time to tell me what you think, I love receiving feedback. :)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s