“What do you think we’ll find down there,” Adam asked, wresting the protective skin over his shoulders as he bent down next to the only window on the plane.
“Bodies,” scowled Eloise, glancing up from her computer. “If we’re lucky. Base wants subjects for studying. See how this thing started.”
“You mean how the attack started?” said Adam, finally in the suit now. The thin, navy material left nothing to the imagination. Eloise swallowed and turned back to her screen.
“We’re not sure if it was an attack yet.”
“How else-“
“Honestly Adam! I’m not sure I want to know.”
Published on Jul 30, 2014
Dear Carol,
Not a pleasant mission. Spot on dialogue. Well done.
shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you very much. I must be doing something right with my dialogue because I think you’re the third person this week to comment on that particular aspect of my writing.
I really enjoyed you’re piece on over-seas adoption by the way.
Agree with Rochelle’s comment. The dialogue is very good. Also a very relevant story when you consider recent events. Good job
Thank you, I don’t normally write with current events in mind but this piece just ended up turning out that way.
Really good. Left me wanting more.
I’m glad. 😀
Great expression, Carol.
Though we know the reality, we still feign ignorance about the attack…
The recent tragedy has been so sad that flight pics evoke such feelings & stories these days…
Thanks for stopping by 🙂
Thanks for returning the favor. 😀
You portray a certain tension between them, subtly and convincingly with both words and dialogue. Nicely done.
Thank you Sandra, I’m glad that you think so.
Carol, I agree that it was good dialogue, and it was timely due to the recent events. Good description. Well written. 🙂 —Susan
Thank you. 😀
Great dialogue. I want to read more about this mission, too.
I’m glad that I got you interested. 😀
I agree with the rest of the gang, spot on dialog. Very good story.
Thanks. 😀
You built the intrigue well this week, Carol. I wanted more at the end. Will we be seeing these characters again?
All my best,
Marie Gail
Not any time soon I’m afraid. Darkened Daughter is demanding my time so I’m trying not to stray too far from that.
Thank you for the lovely comment though. I’m glad you found the piece intriguing.
Nice, love the dialogue (especially when you showed Eloise being flustered)! Everyone seemed so 3D.
I’m glad, it’s always the aim to try and make people seem more life-like.
A tense story, given recent events. You’ve created your characters well. A good read. Thank you.
Thank you for such a lovely comment.
Topical stuff. And disturbing. How do we get at the truth in cases like this?
Honestly I didn’t think about the relevance until someone else point it out, and how we get to the truth of these matters is as elusive for me as anyone else unfortunately. Even then it does little to soften the tragedy
Dang it. I certainly would love for this story to be expanded. Well done.
Thank you and sorry that I won’t be expanding any time soon. Maybe in a couple of years if you can hang on that long?
Tight suspense leaving big questions to be asnwered with more writing!
I’ll certainly keep it in the the to be continued pile for future reference.
She seems a little annoyed with Adam. Nice character development in such a short piece.
Thank you, it’s rather fun to see how much you can fit in about a character in such a small amount of words.
I love-though perhaps that’s the wrong word for a story like this-the way you combine matter of fact dialogue with such dreadful subject material. A really effective piece.
Thank you. 😀