Writing Erotic For The First [And Probably Only] Time [Contains Content Some May Find Offensive]

Tonight I rang my mother to ask if she would have an issue with me entering an erotic short story competition being run by Ann Summers. Now before I go any further I’m not about to start writing erotica as a regular thing or ever posting any on here, actually if this experience is anything to go by I may never touch the genre again, but a challenge is a challenge and this one included the possibility of prize money. Anyway, I rang my mother and she responded with her typical “no not really”, “it’s not like you’re posting naked pictures of yourself so go for it”. My mother can be surprisingly supportive when I’m not expecting it. She won’t read it of course. That would be way too weird. But she’s willing to support my attempt at trying to write something for a genre I haven’t tried because it involves entering a competition and with competitions come opportunities to progress as a writer.

So what I really need now is to stop giggling. Seriously, in all honesty, I need to stop giggling.

I read the first two hundred words to the boyfriend and could not stop myself from giggling any time anything mildly rude came up. Which in the case of an erotic short story is fairly regularly.

I cannot take myself seriously in this genre. How do erotic novelists do it? How do they read back their own work and not snort themselves silly at every other line.

I mean I’m a grown up, sort of. I’m twenty-one. I’ve have a boyfriend and yes, we have had sex. [Dear God I hope no one under eighteen reads this.] My point is that the idea of writing about sex should not reduce me to a childish heap of nonsense giggling her socks off at the word boob. I should be mature about this…

Yeah… that is easier said than done.

But in the end I have written a first draft. A little over a thousand words so it will need some trimming, but all in all I don’t think it’s too bad. I doubt I’ll write the next Fifty Shades of Gray,ย but it’s been an interesting experience. Who knows, the judges might even like it. The world can be a crazy place.

Do let me know what your thoughts are, have you ever had to write anything and been unable to take yourself seriously? Or is it just me?

If you’re interested in the competition here’s a link to Helen Yendall’s blog where I found the original post about it. From there you can find the link to the Ann Summer’s site. Deadline is January 23rd.


  1. Hey, I’m sure you’re probably much better than 50 shades. I mean, it’s probably the worst-written book I’ve ever read. Judging from your language here, you’re already way ahead of the game.
    I’m not sure how they do it either.. my backup plan has always been that if all else fails, I’ll just write some erotica, because it sells well even when it’s really poorly written. But I’m not sure I could be sufficiently serious about it. ๐Ÿ˜›

    Oh and also: woohoo for cool mums!


    1. Definitely woohoo for cool mums.
      I haven’t actually read fifty shades, I have a stack of books to read taller than me, and somehow fifty shades has never made it on there. From the extracts I’ve seen and the reviews I just can’t be bothered to pick it up.


        1. Well my current reading list is limited to university books. I’ve got an essay due in on The South West rebellion in England in 1459 due in next Friday, my dissertation to write and a presentation next Thursday. I have never wanted to read fiction so much as when I don’t have the time to.


                    1. Interesting. I’m hoping to do a masters in either Medieval, or Early Modern History in a couple of years. Just finishing up my history degree this year.

                    2. Sort of. The boyfriend and I are going to move into together as soon as we can, I’ll probably work for a year or two and then do the masters part time with intentions to follow it up with a phd, if possible, later on in life.

                    3. Well it’s a pretty loose framework, plenty of space for uniqueness left.
                      I’ve been having a play around with layout. Would you mind letting me know if it’s any better now, please?

                    4. Much easier to read, and still looks really good! I also like that you can read a little extract from each text. It draws me in, personally, and I feel it’s more likely that I’ll click and read. ๐Ÿ™‚

                    5. It defiantly is. Someone else’s work I can hand them a page and half critique, my own work ends up being a completely different story. I either want to bin the whole lot or not change a thing.

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