Poetry
Comments 40

Daydream Girl – A Haibun

Yesterday is but today’s memory, and tomorrow is today’s dream.

Kahlil Gibra


They called her Daydream Girl.

Eyes, tucked away in the letters of books, spine crackled and binding frayed. She was music, tripping up over loose pavement stone in the hopes of digging out stories long ago buried in the sands of time.

Her hands were skeleton keys pushed into every lock on sunken chests pulled up from abandoned rib-cages. Took care not to hurt the crustaceans as she pulled them away mail-link by mail-link until only the under armour remained.

She poured laughter down my throat and burnt out my lungs with song. Left me bellowing misty dragons into the night. Ran my hands across the tempo of her chest and told me to dance with the beat.

Ba-dum.

Ba-dum.

Ba-dum.

They will not tell me where to find her again.

These words are brittle,

there is nothing of you here

and I am tired.


dverselogohttp://dversepoets.com/2015/10/05/haibun-monday-2/

I wrote this piece and realised that it has a lot of similarities to last night/this morning’s piece Dreamer. It’s sort of interesting how the prompt lined up with that.

This entry was posted in: Poetry

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Carol Forrester is a twenty-three year old writer trying to be a better one. Don’t ask her what her hobbies are because the list doesn’t get much beyond, reading, writing and talking about the same. She has a 2:1 BA degree in history from Bath Spa University and various poems and stories scattered across the net. Her flash fiction story ‘Glorious Silence’ was named as River Ram Press’ short story of the month for August 2014 and her short story ‘A Visit From The Fortune Teller’ has been showcased on the literary site Ink Pantry’s. Most recently, her poem ‘Sunsets’ was featured on Eyes Plus Words, and her personal blog Writing and Works hosts a mass of writing from across the last five years. She has been lucky enough to write guest posts for sites such as Inky Tavern and Song of The Forlorn and is always open to writing more and hosting guest bloggers here on Writing and Works. With hopes of publishing a novel in the next five years and perhaps a collection or two of smaller works, Carol Forrester is nothing if not ambitious. Her writing tries to cover every theme in human life and a lot of her work pulls inspiration from her own eccentric family in the rural wonders of Shropshire life.

40 Comments

  1. I really like this.. it resonated with those memories of parties in the past of how you can seem so connected with someone, and afterwards it all just evaporates into nothingness.. it could have been a lifechanging moment.. or maybe just a dream.

  2. I like the bellowed misty dragons. This made me think of long gone party buddies, disappeared into the mists of the past. The short poem made me said and think of stale morning after coffee. So very sad. Excellent haibun though and certainly did fit the quote beautifully.

  3. Suzanne says

    Your writing is like a finely wrought hand crafted piece of silver. It resonates with a lonely passion.

    • Wow, that’s a compliment and a half. It’s certainly taken a lot of beating to get it wrought into shape but I like to think I’ve improved over the years.
      Thank you for stopping by.

      • Suzanne says

        Yes, it reads like you have spent a lot of time on it. I tend to write more spontaneously – both have their merits I think.

        • Well I wouldn’t say a lot of time. I just went back and read it through a few more times than I normally would. Fifteen minutes maximum after I actually worked out what to write.

  4. She sounds like a treasure chest to me…full of all kinds of forgotten pieces of the past and some that are still fun and full of life. Your ending haiku speaks of a long ago time that no longer exists and age has taken the spark from that once-upon-a time-life.

    • ‘Once-upon-a-time-life’, what a beautiful thought.
      It’s always so lovely to hear your thoughts on my writing. You always give me something new to think about.

  5. Thanks so much, Carol…what a nice thing to say, it’s nice to get that feedback too. Sometimes you never know if what you’ve said has made any sense or not! 🙂

  6. Glenn Buttkus says

    Daydream Girl needs to become in-the-moment girl. A terrific haibun. for sure, rocking the socks off the prompt. Wow, this is 4/4 out on the trail, & we all picked that quote. I added a Gibran painting to the mix, as Bjorn suggested. I like the longish line /her hands were skeleton keys pushed into every lock on sunken chests pulled up from abandoned rib cages/.

    • Thank you. I loved that line the moment I wrote it. It was one of the few times that I’ve written a poem and thought yeah, this is something special.
      I’m glad you enjoyed it.
      I’ll be over to check yours out too but I’ve got work in a few minutes so I’m just going through my comments and I’ll be back to reading tonight.

  7. I specially admire this part: She poured laughter down my throat and burnt out my lungs with song. Left me bellowing misty dragons into the night. Ran my hands across the tempo of her chest and told me to dance with the beat.

    Lovely haibun Carol ~ Thanks for joining our Haibun Monday ~

  8. past is a dream dreamed, present is daydreaming and future is a dream too…i love her character you’ve sketched…

  9. This is so beautiful! You took me on the journey with the daydream girl, living her presence each moment and then living her absence. Beautifully crafted!

  10. Snakypoet (Rosemary Nissen-Wade) says

    Beautiful – and also wrenching, in its yearning.

  11. I really love this, it really resonated with me. I’ve always been a daydream girl myself.
    And somehow your ending brought it all full circle for me, the I am tired felt like an absolutely perfect close. Well done!

    • Thank you very much. I played around with the ending quite a bit because I wasn’t entirely sure what felt natural but I’m glad the one I picked went down so well.

Please take the time to tell me what you think, I love receiving feedback. :)

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