What Is Your Gift?

The rose that bloomed between our lips

wilted.

When we brushed away the petals

and cleared the crumbs of brittle leaves

all that we had were sheets.

Stark and white we stretched them,

from corner to corner

and smoothed away the creases,

lay together side by side

and searched the ceiling for stars.

‘I’m sorry,

this is all I have to give.’

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I really wanted to write something better but this was all I could come up with. Comments and thoughts on this would be hugely appreciated as I have no idea what I was trying to say here. For all the faffing it took to write it still doesn’t strike me as written.

22 Comments

  1. Sometimes that is all there is. Each person is who they are. We accept or reject that notion. Sometimes it is good to just be with them, say nothing as their presence suffices.
    I like this style of poem as it provides so many avenues for discussion. Thanks Carol for sharing.

  2. Really, because I see a lot here. Maybe it just isn’t ready yet. If I were you I’d sit on it and come back and look at it again and push some words around another way, because I think you have something beautiful here

  3. We are what we are, but sometimes, we can stretch for more. Sometimes all we have to give is ourselves. And in different selves, there are different gifts and emotions. As long as we try to give something good instead of something bad, we move forward instead of backward. Interesting thoughts in this poem. Excellent poem.

  4. I peeled back the faff & found a lot of meat in this. For me this is a message about realistic accommodation & earnest communication. When the lust cools & the honeymoon is over, there are just two imperfect partners needing to find a way to keep love alive while they make or take care of children; heavy duty in its way.

  5. I’m so glad to have this fine introduction to your work. It is solid, impressive, engaging writing.

    I am particularly drawn to the first two lines.

  6. So true all we have to
    give is life from birth
    to death.. and those
    ending white
    sheets
    are a ’cause
    for giving always
    now only in the
    name of
    Love
    the Uniter..
    never the
    divider
    when
    REAL..

    LOVE’S REELS
    LOVE’S MOVinG NOW..:)

  7. It feels complete to me. It seems to be a chasm of silence between the two of them. The images tell of a couple who have drifted apart even though they still share a bed…there’s no longer any “giving” going on.

  8. For me it connotes wanting to start over, again like a canvas after asking for forgiveness. I enjoyed that it was not too sappy or overly melodramatic Carol ~ Enjoyed this share ~

  9. I love this piece–the word usage and imagery. On first read, it left me hanging. I wanted more. Then I read it a couple more times (with the expectation it would end quickly). It’s good. You’ve painted a very vivid scene.

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