The rose that bloomed between our lips
wilted.
When we brushed away the petals
and cleared the crumbs of brittle leaves
all that we had were sheets.
Stark and white we stretched them,
from corner to corner
and smoothed away the creases,
lay together side by side
and searched the ceiling for stars.
‘I’m sorry,
this is all I have to give.’
I really wanted to write something better but this was all I could come up with. Comments and thoughts on this would be hugely appreciated as I have no idea what I was trying to say here. For all the faffing it took to write it still doesn’t strike me as written.
Carol J Forrester - Writing and Works 
Sometimes that is all there is. Each person is who they are. We accept or reject that notion. Sometimes it is good to just be with them, say nothing as their presence suffices.
I like this style of poem as it provides so many avenues for discussion. Thanks Carol for sharing.
Really, because I see a lot here. Maybe it just isn’t ready yet. If I were you I’d sit on it and come back and look at it again and push some words around another way, because I think you have something beautiful here
We are what we are, but sometimes, we can stretch for more. Sometimes all we have to give is ourselves. And in different selves, there are different gifts and emotions. As long as we try to give something good instead of something bad, we move forward instead of backward. Interesting thoughts in this poem. Excellent poem.
I peeled back the faff & found a lot of meat in this. For me this is a message about realistic accommodation & earnest communication. When the lust cools & the honeymoon is over, there are just two imperfect partners needing to find a way to keep love alive while they make or take care of children; heavy duty in its way.
There is a quiet honesty to your poem that talks of a deeper love than lust.
I’m so glad to have this fine introduction to your work. It is solid, impressive, engaging writing.
I am particularly drawn to the first two lines.
I like it…the wilted rose of romance and the reality of stark sheets. Ourself is all we have to give!
Thank you for the comment and indeed, in the end ourselves is all we have to give someone else.
So true all we have to
give is life from birth
to death.. and those
ending white
sheets
are a ’cause
for giving always
now only in the
name of
Love
the Uniter..
never the
divider
when
REAL..
LOVE’S REELS
LOVE’S MOVinG NOW..:)
That image of the bed-sheet, where we seek perfection in a cocoon when all we can give has already been given maybe?
Indeed. I rather liked the imagery as well, especially coupled with the frustration you can end up feeling when dealing with the fitted kind.
Worth reading!
Thank you!
Thanks for passing by too. Appreciated.
It feels complete to me. It seems to be a chasm of silence between the two of them. The images tell of a couple who have drifted apart even though they still share a bed…there’s no longer any “giving” going on.
Thanks for the comment.
Perhaps it was that chasm between them that had me feeling like it was incomplete.
Maybe so…and you’re welcome.
There are so many ways to give a gift that is simple yet so lovely. Your piece wins my heart.
Thank you, that’s lovely to hear.
For me it connotes wanting to start over, again like a canvas after asking for forgiveness. I enjoyed that it was not too sappy or overly melodramatic Carol ~ Enjoyed this share ~
I always endeavour to avoid ‘too sappy or overly melodramatic’. I’m glad that I managed it with this piece.
I love this piece–the word usage and imagery. On first read, it left me hanging. I wanted more. Then I read it a couple more times (with the expectation it would end quickly). It’s good. You’ve painted a very vivid scene.