You were a whirl around rollercoster with no brakes and even less track.
You weren’t the ride I was looking for and hell! After the first loop I wanted nothing more than to get off you then and there.
Off with you however, was never an option.
I kept us both clinging on by our fingertips. Despite the fall, the police, the lies.
Pin cushioned with splinters I tried laying track until the wood ran out and all that was left was the crash.
You walked away unharmed, and left me there, bleeding, like I knew you would.
Reminds me of someone that I know very well, who was in a relationship with a carnival ride operator back in the States. It was torrid, brutal, and it set up a future of strangeness.
In short, she had fun. Well written, and excellent work!
Well at least she had fun.
Thank you for commenting. 🙂
Dear Carol
It sounds like the relationship was doomed from the start. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you Rochelle. 🙂
Sounds like my second marriage!
Good piece.
Thank you and my sympathies. Relationships are not the easiest things.
Beautifully written. Well done.
Thank you Sandra. It’s lovely to see you commenting on my site again. 🙂
Oops! Have I not been doing so?
It’s been a while since I did Friday Fictioneers.
I could tell you were a poet before I read your bio. Beautiful work, both harrowing and haunting, well done!
Where about in Shropshire? I lived in Shrewsbury for a short time 🙂
I lived just outside of Whitchurch about half an hour from Shrewsbury. I still go to Shrewsbury for the poetry nights.
I’ve been through Whitchurch a few times, it’s gorgeous. Then again so is most of Shropshire, a beautiful county 🙂
Where about are you now?
I live in Leicestershire now, a little town on the outskirts.
Wow! That’s a relationship from hell. Money back, please.
Indeed.
Always love a good extended metaphor.. so often the bruising is just on one of the persons..
Unfortunately so. Thanks for commenting. 🙂
Been there. Done that. Excellent!
Thank you. 🙂
I loved that it pulled me in, made me read between the lines, great piece 🙂
Thank you very much, it’s good to hear that the writing pulled you in.
Great writing. Loved the metaphor.
Thank you.
That’s one ride I wouldn’t want to take. Nice take on the prompt
Thank you. It just sort of jumped out. It probably helped I that I went on a roller-coaster again for the first time in about ten years three weeks ago.
Wow! This is a powerful piece of writing, and perfectly describes a relationship gone bad.
Thank you. It’s lovely to hear this piece getting such wonderful reviews.
Intense and satisfying read. You have a lovely way with words.
Thank you, I’m glad you think so.
Excellent description of a doomed relationship! Well done.
Thank you. 🙂
Breathtaking…I got lost in your words, the flow…what a beautiful story.
Thank you for such a lovely compliment.
Wonderful writing, horrible relationship. What a story in such few words!
I’m glad you think so. 🙂
I like this! Hard hitting…
Lily
Thank you.
Nice analogy for the failed relationship.
Thank you.
Lovely – the writing, not the relationship.
Haha. I’m glad you clarified.
Wonderful poetic sad prose story. Thank you for sharing it. 🙂
Thank you for commenting.
Lots of subtlety as well as hard hitting lines here… very nice!
Thank you. I’m glad it came across that way.
I’m glad to say I’ve never had a relationship like this (I’ve never liked speed or heights – physical or emotional). Great imagery/metaphor here; nice work.
KT
Thank you. Luckily enough I’ve never had a relationship like this either, but it was a fun piece to write.
Beautifully written. Is there a reason you don’t put the photo prompt on your site? Just curious!
I wrote it on my phone and I didn’t get round to editing it on my blog yet. I’ve not been online for a couple of days.
Ahhh.
You got the point of a disastrous relationship across without beating the reader over the head with details. Well done.
She (he?) knew it was doomed from the start but she couldn’t resist the lure of the thrill.
this is a beautiful metaphor!! it actually aligns super PERFECTLY with the idea of a failed relationship