Mackintosh

There were roses in the stain glass,

between the door and the coat hooks,

blues and yellows, pinks and orange

mashed together in a narrow slab

of light refracted back off itself

until it collapsed into the hallway

sickened and greening on the hardwood floor

where my suitcases sat

waiting for someone else to lift them

but not quite sure

which direction they wanted to take.

dverselogo

20 Comments

  1. “Sickened and greening”…quite an image there of that broken stained-glass and really liked your addition of the suitcases needing someone to take them…somewhere.

    1. I liked the parallel between the uncertainty of the poem and the character’s mindset. [Doesn’t that make me sound artsy.] You’re right about the glass though. I was thinking about Mackintosh’s stain glass roses and this sort of stemmed from that.

  2. i suppose
    if depression
    could really
    show as
    movie
    or poem
    there would
    be less stigma
    and more wanting
    to understand
    and gently
    help
    move
    the suitcase
    on for where it
    can go
    next..
    sickest of the
    sick often receive
    the least love or care..
    and to be clear i have no
    idea if
    you’ve
    ever now
    experienced
    anything like
    what your words
    bring to me.. but
    it is what
    it is
    my
    friend
    to me..:)

    1. This piece was supposed to be about a relationship ending and I was trying to write it from the viewpoint of someone trying to leave but not knowing if they should or if they really wanted to.
      It’s funny you mention depression however, I’m currently working on a poem about depression.

      1. Smiles.. Thanks for the clarification of the meaning you intended.. Of course our personal experiences impact our discernment of all language.. And mine is tainted both very light and very dark with only memories of dark.. TG.. At any rate.. thanks for the inspiration of your poetry.. Friend..:)

  3. Dazzlingly good little piece Carol – love the imagery – lovely and powerful use of language that hits the spot perfectly at the end – I wall deffo be back for more… With Best Wishes Scott http://www.scotthastie.com

  4. There is such assurance in light through stained glass roses — the welcoming assurance of coming home — when that light falls to the suitcases on the floor, it has changed to the confusion and uncertainty of leaving. So well crafted, tightly, tautly put. Well done.

  5. “waiting for someone else to lift them
    but not quite sure
    which direction they wanted to take.”

    I loved this – sorry it took longer before I could visit you. Hope you have enjoyed your OLN.

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.