Flower: Haibun Monday

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Used With Permission – copyright kanzensakura all rights reserved

 

I was resilient you said. No matter the ice, no matter it’s sharpness, my flesh stayed whole and I withstood the chill of always having wet feet. You claimed to see a beauty in it. Some sort of artwork in me soaked to the bone, ribs like claws pressing out at you, wanting to gouge a layer from that smile.

Your perfect flower, your perfect, untouched bloom. I would have ripped the petals from my lips if I thought it meant I might find some way of spitting broken words like rusty knives into you. There was no measure, no way for me to slide down this scale of frozen charms into something more real.

My diamond prison

limb on limb folded about

until the joints crack.

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38 Comments

  1. Wow. I do like this different feel of this haibun. You personified the flower in the snow wonderfully. The senryu at the end totally does its job in emphasizing the prose. Again, wow. The second sentence in the second paragraph – I like that gritty perfect flower! Thank you so much for participating in this.

    1. Thank you for the comment. I didn’t want to write something this dark to be honest, but it was the only one that seemed to work when I was trying to get the words down.

      1. So many times our muse steers us. If you want to do another, the link is up for seven days, but I like this post. We once had to write a “humorous” poem. Mine came out really dark and creepy, LOL. Sometimes, that is the way it goes. I especially like the irony in this because kanzen sakura means: perfect cherry blossom.

  2. This is very moving. The tension and anger at what on the surface was a compliment (“I was resilient you said. . . .”) are palpable. Nice take on the prompt. Peace, Linda

  3. Wow you’re from Cheshire. So very cool. Is it the best this time of year as everyone told me that springtime I was there?

    Love this haibun. That gilded cage, that ivory tower seems more desperate here. The flower that dared to bloom against her will. Very effective. Thank you!

  4. So love your perspective of speaking from the flower’s point of view. No one likes to be put on a pedestal and given empty accolades… “My diamond prison”…excellent haiku.

  5. Not a single sentence was wasted in this haibun. You described the picture and elaborated on a deep and dark relationship.

  6. Something sinister revealed by a dark anger here…”I would have ripped the petals from my lips” creates strong image…chilling!

  7. A diamond prison……..your take on this delivers to the chill, the coldness, the freezing of the photo, rather than the softer side. Like a prism, it is all in how one looks through the looking glass. Excellent piece from the darker side.

    1. Thank you. As I said before, I really didn’t intend to go down the darker side, I just sorted ended up there wandering around and wondering how the heck I’d managed to get in so deep.

  8. The “realness” of this haibun is moving … the haiku with its diamond prison burns the haibun into my mind .. fantastic write!

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