It has been an eon or two since Pythia gases
my Priestess, my Oracle, my Sacrifice.
Time is a slippery creature
and I’ve let it drain like sand
through fingertips mostly not my own.
My name took life for itself
Frankenstein became his monster
and I am still the hidden God
somewhere in the realms
where mortals should fear their tread.
Is it any wonder that I kept you here
carved out from the purple mists
as something not quite yourself?
It has been an eon or two since Pythia gases
and I am still dreaming of you
my first queen of nothingness
of fantasy and illusion
of all that is not quite real.
You are the closest I will come
to waking up.
If you have an constructive criticism please, please take the time to leave it in the comments below. This poem took me four or five false starts before it started going somewhere so I could really do with hearing what people think.
I knew what I wanted to write about but actually working out how to get it down turned out to be a lot tougher than expected which was weird since the challenge was to write Persona Poetry which is basically what I write most of the while. I love working from another point of view but this piece was hard. Really, really hard.
Make sure to check out some of the other entries for today’s Poetic Tuesday on DVersePoets! There such a brilliant group of writers and I love every event I join in with. Click the badge below to check today’s Poetic’s Event out for yourself.
“Time is a slippery creature” = WONDERFUL.
I’m glad you liked it.
Quite a riveting read 🙂
Thank you. 🙂
i love mythology.. ancient
and modern.. so many
potential paths
carry through
your words
here.. and truly
all mythologies..
from Egyptian..
to Greek.. to now
Abrahamic religions
to Hindu.. Japanese
and Chinese variations
house vehicles and vessels
of human abstract constructs
that describe the human archetypes
oF our inner UniVerses.. that are no less
amazing with Wonder than the outside
one’s Telescope sees.. difference iS
inside is art.. and while telescopes
and scientific methods
attempt to
set
measurable
reality in stone..
the inner Universe
of Human is constantly
changing and truly a
non-repeatable
experiment
less the
illusions
of material
reductionism and
modern psychology..
and psychiatry..
breaking down
the mind now
to neuro-hormones..
neuro-chemicals..
and outwardly
observable
behavioral
actions..
oH.. the oracle
of the Inner Universe
and Morpheus.. the ever
changing dream of human
that manifests as us too..
for those of us
with super
charged
relative
free will..
but that is
ART and not science..
no text book will ever
match.. or science method..
But yes.. poeTry and dance
iS a SonG of human Art
that comes
to tale
a much
larger human
Truth and LiGht
as heARt expresSinG
SpiRit.. iN miNd and
BoDy balanCinG soUl..
no short-cuts in
pills.. other
than the
placebo
one
of
belief
that makes
a positive direction
of the UniVerse of we..
yes.. there is much more
than a grain of truth in
human mythologies..
liGht
heART
iS
iN
Truth
N0W..:)
I found many good phrases in the poem… gems…and I think that it gave that feeling of dreams and Oracles… and the last lines are really good… but somehow I needed the title to tie it together… I’m not very good at constructive criticism.. especially not in poetry.
I wish I could have made it clearer in the poem without the readers needing the title so thank you for the feedback.
I love myths, how funny that we both chose one for this prompt 🙂
I’ll have to come and check yours out too.
I really enjoyed your myth of Morpheus and his dreams of his “first Queen of nothingness.” I especially loved your last two lines. You really brought forward the dreamy atmosphere. I don’t think I’m very good at critique either, sorry.
Thank you. That’s all really useful.
I like the hidden suggestion of a powerful creator and the waking up at the end. Maybe a poem can and should stand on its own but maybe it sometimes help to be given some idea about the process and use of allusions?
Thanks for the feedback, I’ll definitely keep that in mind.
“My name took life for itself
Frankenstein became his monster
and I am still the hidden God
somewhere in the realms”
I like this Carol.
Thank you, I’m glad you think so.
I am not a great student of mythology (not a big subject in Catholic school, ha!) but this makes me want to go and read more about the myth of Morpheus. The way you use repetition is quite effective. And these lines alone make me want to read more:
Time is a slippery creature
and I’ve let it drain like sand
through fingertips mostly not my own.
Something that one thinks about often at my age.
Nicely done but I can’t but feel that there is so much to know first about reading the poem. I’m not saying it is wrong to use erudition in one’s work but I found that the piece counted on my having a full understanding of Morpheus as opposed to explaining through his own words who he was. To reference outside knowledge is a tricky thing, you can lose a reader ‘s understanding of the poem by using too much. By this I mean when I do research for a poem I may end up with pages of information about the subject at hand but then disseminate that information down into a few key elements that will be accessible to the reader. Of course the other way to deal with that is to use footnotes which I think we can both agree take away from the poem. >KB
I think this is probably why this piece has not been as popular as some of my other ones. I’ll admit I struggled with how to write it to include a greater explanation of who Morpheus was and decided to take the easy route of just letting the reader go find out for themselves.
Thank you for the comment. It’s really useful to hear and I think if I was to write this again I would try to explain who Morpheus is through his own voice in greater depth.
I too am not a great reader of mythology nor very familiar with it. But there are lines here that I relate to that make me connect with your writing:
“Time is a slippery creature and I’ve let it drain like sand through fingertips mostly not my own.”
“…and I am still dreaming of you my first queen of nothingness of fantasy and illusion
of all that is not quite real.”
These are gems in and of themselves. They take me places in my own life….and in some ways, isn’t that what mythology is supposed to do? Enjoyed this very much.
Thank you, I’m so glad you enjoyed it and took the time to comment.
I love that this managed to take you places in your own life. That in itself is the point of poetry.