Poetry
Comments 20

Morpheus

It has been an eon or two since Pythia gases

my Priestess, my Oracle, my Sacrifice.

Time is a slippery creature

and I’ve let it drain like sand

through fingertips mostly not my own.

My name took life for itself

Frankenstein became his monster

and I am still the hidden God

somewhere in the realms

where mortals should fear their tread.

Is it any wonder that I kept you here

carved out from the purple mists

as something not quite yourself?

It has been an eon or two since Pythia gases

and I am still dreaming of you

my first queen of nothingness

of fantasy and illusion

of all that is not quite real.

You are the closest I will come

to waking up.

If you have an constructive criticism please, please take the time to leave it in the comments below. This poem took me four or five false starts before it started going somewhere so I could really do with hearing what people think.

I knew what I wanted to write about but actually working out how to get it down turned out to be a lot tougher than expected which was weird since the challenge was to write Persona Poetry which is basically what I write most of the while. I love working from another point of view but this piece was hard. Really, really hard.

Make sure to check out some of the other entries for today’s Poetic Tuesday on DVersePoets! There such a brilliant group of writers and I love every event I join in with. Click the badge below to check today’s Poetic’s Event out for yourself.

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This entry was posted in: Poetry

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Carol Forrester is a twenty-three year old writer trying to be a better one. Don’t ask her what her hobbies are because the list doesn’t get much beyond, reading, writing and talking about the same. She has a 2:1 BA degree in history from Bath Spa University and various poems and stories scattered across the net. Her flash fiction story ‘Glorious Silence’ was named as River Ram Press’ short story of the month for August 2014 and her short story ‘A Visit From The Fortune Teller’ has been showcased on the literary site Ink Pantry’s. Most recently, her poem ‘Sunsets’ was featured on Eyes Plus Words, and her personal blog Writing and Works hosts a mass of writing from across the last five years. She has been lucky enough to write guest posts for sites such as Inky Tavern and Song of The Forlorn and is always open to writing more and hosting guest bloggers here on Writing and Works. With hopes of publishing a novel in the next five years and perhaps a collection or two of smaller works, Carol Forrester is nothing if not ambitious. Her writing tries to cover every theme in human life and a lot of her work pulls inspiration from her own eccentric family in the rural wonders of Shropshire life.

20 Comments

  1. i love mythology.. ancient
    and modern.. so many
    potential paths
    carry through
    your words
    here.. and truly
    all mythologies..
    from Egyptian..
    to Greek.. to now
    Abrahamic religions
    to Hindu.. Japanese
    and Chinese variations
    house vehicles and vessels
    of human abstract constructs
    that describe the human archetypes
    oF our inner UniVerses.. that are no less
    amazing with Wonder than the outside
    one’s Telescope sees.. difference iS
    inside is art.. and while telescopes
    and scientific methods
    attempt to
    set
    measurable
    reality in stone..
    the inner Universe
    of Human is constantly
    changing and truly a
    non-repeatable
    experiment
    less the
    illusions
    of material
    reductionism and
    modern psychology..
    and psychiatry..
    breaking down
    the mind now
    to neuro-hormones..
    neuro-chemicals..
    and outwardly
    observable
    behavioral
    actions..
    oH.. the oracle
    of the Inner Universe
    and Morpheus.. the ever
    changing dream of human
    that manifests as us too..
    for those of us
    with super
    charged
    relative
    free will..
    but that is
    ART and not science..
    no text book will ever
    match.. or science method..
    But yes.. poeTry and dance
    iS a SonG of human Art
    that comes
    to tale
    a much
    larger human
    Truth and LiGht
    as heARt expresSinG
    SpiRit.. iN miNd and
    BoDy balanCinG soUl..
    no short-cuts in
    pills.. other
    than the
    placebo
    one
    of
    belief
    that makes
    a positive direction
    of the UniVerse of we..
    yes.. there is much more
    than a grain of truth in
    human mythologies..
    liGht
    heART
    iS
    iN
    Truth
    N0W..:)

  2. I found many good phrases in the poem… gems…and I think that it gave that feeling of dreams and Oracles… and the last lines are really good… but somehow I needed the title to tie it together… I’m not very good at constructive criticism.. especially not in poetry.

  3. I really enjoyed your myth of Morpheus and his dreams of his “first Queen of nothingness.” I especially loved your last two lines. You really brought forward the dreamy atmosphere. I don’t think I’m very good at critique either, sorry.

  4. I like the hidden suggestion of a powerful creator and the waking up at the end. Maybe a poem can and should stand on its own but maybe it sometimes help to be given some idea about the process and use of allusions?

  5. “My name took life for itself
    Frankenstein became his monster
    and I am still the hidden God
    somewhere in the realms”

    I like this Carol.

  6. I am not a great student of mythology (not a big subject in Catholic school, ha!) but this makes me want to go and read more about the myth of Morpheus. The way you use repetition is quite effective. And these lines alone make me want to read more:
    Time is a slippery creature

    and I’ve let it drain like sand

    through fingertips mostly not my own.

    Something that one thinks about often at my age.

  7. Nicely done but I can’t but feel that there is so much to know first about reading the poem. I’m not saying it is wrong to use erudition in one’s work but I found that the piece counted on my having a full understanding of Morpheus as opposed to explaining through his own words who he was. To reference outside knowledge is a tricky thing, you can lose a reader ‘s understanding of the poem by using too much. By this I mean when I do research for a poem I may end up with pages of information about the subject at hand but then disseminate that information down into a few key elements that will be accessible to the reader. Of course the other way to deal with that is to use footnotes which I think we can both agree take away from the poem. >KB

    • I think this is probably why this piece has not been as popular as some of my other ones. I’ll admit I struggled with how to write it to include a greater explanation of who Morpheus was and decided to take the easy route of just letting the reader go find out for themselves.
      Thank you for the comment. It’s really useful to hear and I think if I was to write this again I would try to explain who Morpheus is through his own voice in greater depth.

  8. I too am not a great reader of mythology nor very familiar with it. But there are lines here that I relate to that make me connect with your writing:
    “Time is a slippery creature and I’ve let it drain like sand through fingertips mostly not my own.”
    “…and I am still dreaming of you my first queen of nothingness of fantasy and illusion
    of all that is not quite real.”
    These are gems in and of themselves. They take me places in my own life….and in some ways, isn’t that what mythology is supposed to do? Enjoyed this very much.

    • Thank you, I’m so glad you enjoyed it and took the time to comment.
      I love that this managed to take you places in your own life. That in itself is the point of poetry.

Please take the time to tell me what you think, I love receiving feedback. :)

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