Caught up in this old jumble of paper and ink
I find… I think …
some thought or story half forgotten over time,
words taught to climb
and weave their way through eye and mind
until into the soul they wind
seeking down until depths until that place they find
were they root themselves in thought and breath
and are spoken lastly only unto death.
I find… I think … words taught to climb until into the soul they wind.
I’m not the biggest fan of form poetry, just because of how restricting it can be and how it can breed bad poetry when the work is forced. I really enjoyed working with the parameters of this form however. It challenged me to really think about what I was writing, which is what I love about dVersePoets and their New Form nights.
Click the badge above to go check out their fantastic post on the Ovillejo for yourself.
Carol, your final line, and the fragments that lead to it, are perfection. What a wonderful unwinding.
You just need to add one more line (Ovillejos are 10 lines).
It should come between these two lines:
“until into the soul they wind
(new line here)
where they root themselves in thought and breath”
…and rhyme with “wind,” and be a slightly longer line, like your time/mind/death/breath lines.
This is a fantastic start, and I love the way it flows. Form-wise, it’s an easy fix. 🙂 Thanks so much for playing! I’m loving what everyone is doing with this great form!
Thank you for the comment. I’ve added in the extra line, and thank you for such a detailed explanation, it made it really easy to go back and fix my mistake.
I have lots of words stuffed into various places, that I launched long agp, great read!
Thank you. 🙂
What a beautiful poem, Carol, and tribute to ‘words’ and how they touch us and merge into our souls…breathtaking.
Thank you. I was a little stuck for what to write so I’m quite glad I managed to write something the didn’t sound too forced.
You did great, it didn’t sound forced. 🙂
While form can lead to bad poetry, when done right, the strictures of firm can also really inspire some wonderful poetry. You have done a great job with this one.
Thank you. I’ve had to add another line as it was pointed out that I somehow managed to miss one.
You did a great job… I agree that forms can be very forced, but done right I think it adds a lot… restrictions is something that in the long run is good for poetry…. but it can also lead you to slaved words.
Thank you. Form done right can indeed add a lot to poetry.
I think that working a lot with meter really also improve free verse… I have written quite long passages of plain blank verse a few times… after a while I don’t count syllables… I just feel the iambic pentameter….
Meter is always important in poetry. It can keep you in a poem or throw you out of it completely.
I’ve been wondering… A while back I thought about doing guest posts on my blog but it never really came to much. Would you be interested in doing one on poetic form?
Sounds like fun… :-)… though I have done quite a few at dVerse..
You could do it about something else if you’d prefer?
Sounds like fun… :-)… though I have done quite a few at dVerse.. BTW I can combine it with a review of Stephen Fry’s book “The ode less traveled”…
If you’d like. I’ve not read it.
superb content for this wonderful form…such a nice and pleasant read…
Thank you. Nice and pleasant were exactly what I wanted to achieve so it’s great to hear that I did that. 🙂
Words.. iN written
style.. guideposts..
furniture..
rooms..
iN association
oF emoTioNs
true.. no less
SonG..
recorded..
vinyl.. or digital..
words can guide
Us back to heARts..
lost.. language and
emoTion.. bed
fellows and
friends..
when Art
and words
hUman
become
heARt
poe
Try
uS..:)
Words. Sometimes a word or turn of the phrase is so breath-taking you just have to stop and admire it. Lovely poem to words.
Thank you. 🙂
I love the ending ~ I love the puzzle of form poetry, smiles ~ Thanks for joining us ~
Thank you for commenting. 🙂
I liked this.
I’m glad. Thank you for commenting.