Short Stories & Flash Fiction
Comments 13

Blue Trellis

 

chateau-de-sable-ceayr

Photo Prompt – Copyright Ceayr

 

Lilly had been expecting something more than blue, trellis gates. Beyond them, the compound crept west, the concrete yard broken up by thistles and nettles, bursting out of the cracks and spilling out onto the emptiness. She swallowed and looked at the gates again, imagined something stronger, like steel or iron, tall and spiked.

‘Three, fifteen,’ said the woman beside her. She sucked air through her teeth and tapped at her watch. ‘Your uncle said he would meet us here.’

Lilly nodded and peered past the weeds. She nibbled her lip and then stopped.

Remember, she thought. Just be nice.

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This entry was posted in: Short Stories & Flash Fiction

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Carol J Forrester is a writer trying to be a better one. She’s currently working on her first novel ‘Darkened Daughter’ and attempting to put together a collection of poetry in the hopes of submitting to publication in 2020. She has a 2:1 BA degree in history from Bath Spa University, enjoys judo at least twice a week, and tries to attend poetry events around the Midlands. Her flash fiction story ‘Glorious Silence’ was named as River Ram Press’ short story of the month for August 2014 and her short story ‘A Visit From The Fortune Teller’ has been showcased on the literary site Ink Pantry. Her poem ‘Sunsets’ was featured on Eyes Plus Words, and two of her poems were included in the DVerse Poets Pub Publication ‘Chiaroscuro’ which is available for purchase on amazon. More recently her poem ‘Until The Light Gets In‘ was accepted and published at The Drabble and her poem ‘Newborn’ was published by Ink Sweat & Tears. She has been lucky enough to write guest posts for sites such as Inky Tavern and Song of The Forlorn and has hosted a number of guest bloggers here on Writing and Works.

13 Comments

  1. This is very intriguing. You’ve set up the tension and left me wondering just what’s going on. She wanted ‘steel’ and ‘spikes’ – hmm.

    • Honestly, I was trying to create a scene where Lilly was looking for sanctuary and hoping the compound would be it. I seemed to have put more tension into this piece than I intended.

    • I have no idea if I’m honest and the small inkling I had is much less dark than some of the comments this piece has brought out. 🙂 It’s actually rather amusing.

    • Humiliated? Interesting. That wasn’t what I was thinking when I wrote it but it seems more than a few people have read it that way. Thank you for commenting. 🙂

  2. hmmmm Lily is being escorted by her impatient aunt…..expects stronger, harder gates….and then “nibbles her lip” and reminds herself [in a small voice] “Just be nice.”
    I added the small voice as it’s what I’m hearing between the lines…..is she being “brought” to her uncle? My imagination takes me to where I don’t want it to go! ….and that’s the mark of good writing…right? It gets the reader involved and connecting and imagining on!
    Well done.

  3. Poor Lily, not quite what she expected. I thought as Liz above did, with the girl having found a new home and trying not to be too disappointed. An intriguing story in any case.

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