I still see you in that morning shimmer,
low across the fields,
tangled in the coils of mist
rising slowly off the brook.
I watch until the sun burns it away
and remember again,
your fingertips on my skin
still damp from dawn dew.
My first time back at dVerse poets for a few weeks. For those of you doing NaPoWriMo, Get yourselves to the bar at once! There are few better places to settle down and share your poetry that at the Poets Pub.
Somehow I see a Turner painting in your words…
Thank you. It was a good prompt and the short word count was a nice target. 🙂
I love what Bjorn said about the Turner painting, even Whistler in his misty period. So very atmospheric and romantic. I agree, the word count makes it great for teaching us how to write succinct poetry.
It does, and with my recent NaPoWriMo poems rambling on a bit it was nice to write something a bit more snappy.
Oh! GORGEOUS! 44 is such an awesome number of words, right?
It is and thank you. I’m glad you like it. 🙂
Lovely quadrille. And wonderful plug for dVerse!
I’m glad you think so and I’m not the only person doing both DVerse and NaPoWriMo so I thought why not encourage some fellow NaPoWriMo poets to join the fun.
I love each line ~
Thank you. 🙂
I can imagine that “apparitions” may be seen in an early morning “tangled in the coils of mist/rising slowly off the brook.” Quite a dreamy quadrille of memories, Carol…so lovely.
Thank you. 🙂
tangled in the coils of mist –
beautiful writing – all of it, just that line melted me.
Thank you very much. I rewrote it a few times so I’m really glad people like the final choice.
dreamlike-
I’m glad you think so.
Beautiful. Sigh.
Thank you. 🙂
This poem is beyond gorgeous. The emotion in this is palpable without being sappy. I can sit here and close my eyes and see this. Indeed, the painting of Whistler I see is View Of the University of Michigan….the mist and colors. Or even his Nocturne: Trafalgar Square. The mood of this poem is perfection.
I’m so glad it’s not sappy. Sappy is something I try to avoid like the plague. I’m glad you liked it so much. Thank you for the beautiful compliment. 🙂
Magnificent wordsmithing!
(i’m doing NaPoWriMo too)
It’s a great challenge. I haven’t got today’s up yet but I haven’t seen the prompt either.
Oh so sensual! just lovely
Thank you. 🙂
Oh, Carol, I could see that morning shimmer. I think it’s a very British thing, the mist in the fields and the dewy grass. Wonderful poem.
It is a very British thing and such a beautiful one too. Thank you for commenting.
The description in this is wonderful! I especially love the coils of mist.
Thank you. 🙂 My parents’ farm was built on peat land so we always got a lost of mist around the house when I lived there. It was beautiful and creepy at the same time.
I love that a little hyphen insertion turns the first line into “I still-see you in that // mo(u)rning shimmer.”
Beautiful poem.
Thank you very much. 🙂
I like this one a lot. Well written. 🙂
I’m glad you think so. 🙂