Poetry
Comments 22

Fantasia

Where the moon meets the sea

there are pathways of silver,

mapped out on the ocean

like needlework seams.

 

There,

with the waves at our heels,

you found the closest edge

and hung everything we knew

over the emptiness.

 

It wasn’t much.

A carry-on bag with battered handles,

stickers from my sister’s scrapbook

and a I heart Burtledge magnet

super-glued to the canvas.

 

It had never been very far from home.

 

 

I had never been very far from home.

 

dverselogo

Not really 100% happy with this piece. I struggled to find and ending that worked by I’m absolutely exhausted so this will have to do.

This entry was posted in: Poetry

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Carol Forrester is a twenty-three year old writer trying to be a better one. Don’t ask her what her hobbies are because the list doesn’t get much beyond, reading, writing and talking about the same. She has a 2:1 BA degree in history from Bath Spa University and various poems and stories scattered across the net. Her flash fiction story ‘Glorious Silence’ was named as River Ram Press’ short story of the month for August 2014 and her short story ‘A Visit From The Fortune Teller’ has been showcased on the literary site Ink Pantry’s. Most recently, her poem ‘Sunsets’ was featured on Eyes Plus Words, and her personal blog Writing and Works hosts a mass of writing from across the last five years. She has been lucky enough to write guest posts for sites such as Inky Tavern and Song of The Forlorn and is always open to writing more and hosting guest bloggers here on Writing and Works. With hopes of publishing a novel in the next five years and perhaps a collection or two of smaller works, Carol Forrester is nothing if not ambitious. Her writing tries to cover every theme in human life and a lot of her work pulls inspiration from her own eccentric family in the rural wonders of Shropshire life.

22 Comments

  1. Having just returned from Bermuda where we stayed in an apartment with a deck that overlooked the St. George’s Harbor — two months of serenity — I especially found the image of the moon’s silver path, etched in the water as needlework seams, truly beautiful and unique. So many write of the water — this is truly beautiful and unique. This is a fantasia — very well penned. I actually liked the ending — no struggles do I see.

  2. I found the ending to be perfect. I love the scenery that you set and the way you described the moonlight reflections.

  3. Love that ending, the images within, and so much love for this:
    “your found the closest edge

    and hung everything we knew

    over the emptiness.”

  4. Shawna says

    I like this … especially the first stanza … and especially the first line, which I initially misread as, “where the moon melts the sea,” a place I’d like to die, sigh-peer, in-two forever.

  5. The image of the moon on the water…gorgeous. the first stanza is breath taking. And the baggage at the end, not much but so telling. Never far from home, I like that. Wonderful fantasia of a poem.

  6. I agree, superb ending to a musical poem. I love the lines ‘pathways of silver,/
    mapped out on the ocean/like needlework seams’.

  7. Your comment at the end surprised me as I was all set to say how effective the ending is–the repetition works well.

  8. You had me involved from the get-go and I hope you make this piece into what you want your fantasy to ultimately be today. Thank you always.

  9. Very fun — you generated a wonderful piece when even fatigued.

    One typo, I think:
    your found the closest edge (?should be “you”).

    That stanza was by far my favorite, btw. could imagining !

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