Where the moon meets the sea
there are pathways of silver,
mapped out on the ocean
like needlework seams.
There,
with the waves at our heels,
you found the closest edge
and hung everything we knew
over the emptiness.
It wasn’t much.
A carry-on bag with battered handles,
stickers from my sister’s scrapbook
and a I heart Burtledge magnet
super-glued to the canvas.
It had never been very far from home.
I had never been very far from home.
Not really 100% happy with this piece. I struggled to find and ending that worked by I’m absolutely exhausted so this will have to do.
Carol J Forrester - Writing and Works 
Having just returned from Bermuda where we stayed in an apartment with a deck that overlooked the St. George’s Harbor — two months of serenity — I especially found the image of the moon’s silver path, etched in the water as needlework seams, truly beautiful and unique. So many write of the water — this is truly beautiful and unique. This is a fantasia — very well penned. I actually liked the ending — no struggles do I see.
I like the ending, I like the imagery. I’ll be coming back to read this later once more
I found the ending to be perfect. I love the scenery that you set and the way you described the moonlight reflections.
I too like the ending, never being far from home ~
Such a splendid write 🙂
Love that ending, the images within, and so much love for this:
“your found the closest edge
and hung everything we knew
over the emptiness.”
I like this … especially the first stanza … and especially the first line, which I initially misread as, “where the moon melts the sea,” a place I’d like to die, sigh-peer, in-two forever.
Such a beautiful opening verse…love that! Your ending seems perfect to me, very well done.
The image of the moon on the water…gorgeous. the first stanza is breath taking. And the baggage at the end, not much but so telling. Never far from home, I like that. Wonderful fantasia of a poem.
That silver on the water.. The roads across the water… Maybe we should just leave, but sometimes Fantasia is better to keep than to realize
I agree, superb ending to a musical poem. I love the lines ‘pathways of silver,/
mapped out on the ocean/like needlework seams’.
I liked everything about your Fantasia…except maybe the magnet’s clutter?
Gorgeous.
Thank you. 🙂
I actually like the ending. It was like an echo and it fit well with the image you painted with your words.
Thank you. i didn’t think of it as an echo but I love that image.
Your comment at the end surprised me as I was all set to say how effective the ending is–the repetition works well.
Thank you. I had to take a few goes at it, hence why I wasn’t too sure if it worked.
You had me involved from the get-go and I hope you make this piece into what you want your fantasy to ultimately be today. Thank you always.
Thank you for commenting.
Very fun — you generated a wonderful piece when even fatigued.
One typo, I think:
your found the closest edge (?should be “you”).
That stanza was by far my favorite, btw. could imagining !
Ah, yes. I’ll go changed that now. Thank you for pointing it out.