Poetry
Comments 22

Fantasia

Where the moon meets the sea

there are pathways of silver,

mapped out on the ocean

like needlework seams.

 

There,

with the waves at our heels,

you found the closest edge

and hung everything we knew

over the emptiness.

 

It wasn’t much.

A carry-on bag with battered handles,

stickers from my sister’s scrapbook

and a I heart Burtledge magnet

super-glued to the canvas.

 

It had never been very far from home.

 

 

I had never been very far from home.

 

dverselogo

Not really 100% happy with this piece. I struggled to find and ending that worked by I’m absolutely exhausted so this will have to do.

This entry was posted in: Poetry

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Carol J Forrester is a writer trying to be a better one. She’s currently working on her first novel ‘Darkened Daughter’ and attempting to put together a collection of poetry in the hopes of submitting to publication in 2020. She has a 2:1 BA degree in history from Bath Spa University, enjoys judo at least twice a week, and tries to attend poetry events around the Midlands. Her flash fiction story ‘Glorious Silence’ was named as River Ram Press’ short story of the month for August 2014 and her short story ‘A Visit From The Fortune Teller’ has been showcased on the literary site Ink Pantry. Her poem ‘Sunsets’ was featured on Eyes Plus Words, and two of her poems were included in the DVerse Poets Pub Publication ‘Chiaroscuro’ which is available for purchase on amazon. More recently her poem ‘Until The Light Gets In‘ was accepted and published at The Drabble and her poem ‘Newborn’ was published by Ink Sweat & Tears. She has been lucky enough to write guest posts for sites such as Inky Tavern and Song of The Forlorn and has hosted a number of guest bloggers here on Writing and Works.

22 Comments

  1. Having just returned from Bermuda where we stayed in an apartment with a deck that overlooked the St. George’s Harbor — two months of serenity — I especially found the image of the moon’s silver path, etched in the water as needlework seams, truly beautiful and unique. So many write of the water — this is truly beautiful and unique. This is a fantasia — very well penned. I actually liked the ending — no struggles do I see.

  2. I found the ending to be perfect. I love the scenery that you set and the way you described the moonlight reflections.

  3. Love that ending, the images within, and so much love for this:
    “your found the closest edge

    and hung everything we knew

    over the emptiness.”

  4. Shawna says

    I like this … especially the first stanza … and especially the first line, which I initially misread as, “where the moon melts the sea,” a place I’d like to die, sigh-peer, in-two forever.

  5. The image of the moon on the water…gorgeous. the first stanza is breath taking. And the baggage at the end, not much but so telling. Never far from home, I like that. Wonderful fantasia of a poem.

  6. I agree, superb ending to a musical poem. I love the lines ‘pathways of silver,/
    mapped out on the ocean/like needlework seams’.

  7. Your comment at the end surprised me as I was all set to say how effective the ending is–the repetition works well.

  8. You had me involved from the get-go and I hope you make this piece into what you want your fantasy to ultimately be today. Thank you always.

  9. Very fun — you generated a wonderful piece when even fatigued.

    One typo, I think:
    your found the closest edge (?should be “you”).

    That stanza was by far my favorite, btw. could imagining !

Please take the time to tell me what you think, I love receiving feedback. :)

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