When I yanked, twisted,
you came loose.
Fallen, you held up your arms
and wined like a child
looking for their mother.
I remember staring at you,
head titled and cheeks still damp.
I remember looking at you
and wondering
where I’d found beauty.
Happy Monday readers! Tell me, could you write a piece in just 44 words? Why not give it a go with the rest of the lovelies at dVerse Poets Pub. Today’s theme is twist, so let’s twist and shake off any residual Monday blues.
I’ve decided that this week is going to be super productive. I’ve done some studying tonight, I’ve worked on some poetry and I’ve still got a couple of hours before bed. That means I’ve hopefully got time to read some of the other Quadrilles over at dVerse, work on a poem for my work’s newsletter and get something down for NaPoWriMo Day Eighteen’s prompt ‘sounds from your childhood’.
We’re off to a good start to the week.
I like how your tie it up.. I get the image of giving birth, and there at the end I’m left with beauty… love how you tied it together.
Thank you. This actually ended up being rather different to the poem I intended.
I love it when the poems find their own voice. Love where this went, Carol.
Thank you. 🙂 Congratulations on your napowrimo poem getting featured.
Its is nice
Please read mine too and review
http://wp.me/p7nwRE-28
It is must appreciated.
Perfect title that leaves us wanting to know what came before and what will happen next. Good luck as the week unfolds, Carol.
Thank you Victoria and I’m happy to hear you liked the title.
SWEET!!
I so like where this poem and how you gave this poem its head. Beauty found in 44 words.
Thank you. 🙂
Ah the gentleness of wondering here…….well done!
Thank you.
A sad twist!
Haha, you’re one of the few people who saw it that way.
The ending was unexpected, definitely a twist ~ Thanks for joining us Carol ~
Thank you for commenting.
I had a thought of birth too but then couldn’t connect the whining like a child. The ending was a surprise twist.
When I read it back I did realise how birth-like those first few lines are. It wasn’t intentional but oh well.
People often pick up on things in our writings that we didn’t intend. All we can do is say “oh well.” 🙂
The last three lines are so touching.
I imagine this being about me, talking to myself.
Haha, I love that.
I’m glad you think so.
I like the moment when beauty is found…
I love the title and the ambiguity of the this poem, Carol.
Thank you. I can’t believe the divide between the comments on what it’s supposed to be about.
Well done. I thought of giving birth, too. Did you mean titled or TILTED?
I did mean Tilted but I now like titled too much to change it.
Nicely done, I like this.
Thank you Raivenne.
Very intriguing. Love the impact of the last line!
Thank you.
As you said, the varied comments point out the ambiguity of this work. I’ll stick my head out and say it’s about the ending of a relationship. I know one guy who shed genuine tears, and many others that cried from the bash to their egos.
Beauty is in the beholder isn’t it? Wonderful write!
Bekkie