NaPoWriMo Day Twenty-Seven

Solitude

From pier-point we walked to the mountain slopes where the slate fell in slag-pile avalanches and the yellow grasses rippled against the breeze.

Your battered trainers barely survived the trip, so you carried them in one hand until the kissing gate, and left them hanging by their fraying laces.

With your footsteps just behind mine we scrambled for purchase, chasing thoughts like stray insects up the pitted pathways we’d walked more times than memory.

One by one they dropped away, pebbles tossed and bouncing, pinging out of sight and hearing until there wasn’t any further to climb.

Below there would be small slate rooftops and white wash houses with chocolate box roses around whorled glass windows, framing shuffling figures pottering from one day to the next.

Winded, panting, face shining and nose pink tipped you took my cheeks between your palms and pulled it close.

‘Just be here with me,’ you asked and for those moments I was. Together in the solitude of our mountain, barefoot and tired and palms stinging from falls and sharp stone.

I was alone with you.

Day Twenty-Seven’s prompt was to use long sentences in a poem. Since this was such an open prompt I decided to incorporate today’s Daily Post Prompt: Solitude.

27 Comments

  1. What a beautiful shared moment. You used the long sentences, but they were not at all cumbersome as they can be. I loved this stanza:

    With your footsteps just behind mine we scrambled for purchase, chasing thoughts like stray insects up the pitted pathways we’d walked more times than memory.

  2. “Below there would be small slate rooftops and white wash houses with chocolate box roses around whorled glass windows, framing shuffling figures pottering from one day to the next.”
    Loved this visual. Lengthening the sentences sounds like a great challenge!

  3. Beautiful – I seemed to walk right along with you. It reminded me of an old slat mine we visited once with friends in Wales.

  4. Really love the emotion you managed to work into this poem! And actually the long sentences worked quite effectively. A different technique is always fun to try.

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.