Hiding In The Bathroom The Morning After

‘Well you know of course

when you know who closes a door

he always opens a window.’

Except I’ve been eating on too many pizzas,

and I’m not sure the hips puberty gave me

are going to get through that narrow opening

without some serious grazing

and attracting the neighbour’s attention

when he goes looking for the wounded animal

dying over the other side of the fence.

At this point you remind me it’s a metaphor,

that you’re not talking about the bathroom window

above the toilet in Francis? Matthew? Thomas?

Definitely Thomas.

The bathroom window above Thomas’s downstairs loo.

In your eyes there’s no choice but to hike up my knickers

and make the most of where last night got me,

breakfast and all

and perhaps it might turn out

that this window

is less of a window,

and more like a door.


I fancied trying to write something a bit more light hearted tonight. If anyone has any constructive criticism I’d really appreciate it.


  1. Haha had me giggling 🙂 Just one constructive point of note: defiantly or definitely Thomas? It’s one of those tricky ones that slips through spellcheckers because defiantly is a word, it just means something else.
    Damned hips 😉 seriously made life less flexible.

  2. SMiLes.. i’LL
    go doubting
    Thomas route
    iN opTioNaL
    goSpel.. aWay
    HeRe froM SAint
    Francis.. Matthew..
    All the rest..
    best noW
    oF aLL
    don’t waiT..
    WinDow fALLs..:)

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