Not Built To Relax

I am not very good at relaxing,

I have never had a quiet mind.

When I talk

I trip over the words ahead of me,

tongue too slow for brain,

mouth numbing as I stick on a sound

and turn that over and over again

until I force myself to stop

and reset the track.

It is not a stutter.

It’s a meltdown of language

and if I hesitated to breathe

I’d master the sentences,

know what I was saying

before the noise was spoken.

How can I relax

when I do not know what I will say next,

or when I will need to bridle my mouth

and bite off the bullets

rattling behind my teeth

all to keen to gauge holes in someone else.

I am not built to relax.

I have not got the patience for it.

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Daily Prompt: Relax

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