Sleep buzzes away
like an insect to the light,
fizzing back and forth.
I lie awake for hours,
just watching the night pass by.
Written For The Weekly Tanka Prompt Challenge – Awake & Sleep
Sleep buzzes away
like an insect to the light,
fizzing back and forth.
I lie awake for hours,
just watching the night pass by.
Written For The Weekly Tanka Prompt Challenge – Awake & Sleep
Carol J Forrester - Writing and Works 
Hi, Nice to meet you, 23 years old trying to be a better writer, well this tanka poem is perfect and so true in life, I don’t see much wrong with your writing.
Thanks for the follow, will be looking forward to reading more of your work.
Have a great rest of the week.
Hi Kiwinana, thanks for stopping by and for the comment. Hope you have a lovely week yourself. 🙂
I know how you feel. I stay away in bed for a long time it seems many nights. When I was younger and could live by my own schedule in the summer between school, I’d stay up til 5 many nights.
Lovely poem. it resonates to me.
An arresting simile.
[…] Carol Forrester is a twenty-three-year-old writer trying to be a better one. […]
Insomnia
Me Still
Awake half three
In the morning begging
Sleep
An Elfje reply to your buzzing tanka, me a sufferer too. Hope you like the Elfje check the link for more on this fun format.
https://simplyelfje.wordpress.com/about/ 🙂
Lovely response. I’ve not heard of an elfje before. I’ll be sure to pop over and check your site out.
Your most welcome Carol. Thank for your appreciation, drop by anytime time, looking forward to your visit 🙂
Already had a bit of a look around. They form reminds me a little of a FIB. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fib_(poetry)
Done a few fib’s, well the longer version, the full Fibonacci, up to 55 syllables long, the simple Elfje, just 11 words, love it. Not lying, honest, just a little fib. 🙂
A
Fib.
Well maybe,
Not really, just a
Nice, poetic way of writing.
© MET 2017/66
haha, love it. I wrote a fib for my now fiancée before we were dating. He still didn’t get the hint that I was flirting but he did keep it.
Ha!
Ha!
Love it!
Did the same
to now my dearest
Darling, forty eight years ago.
Do it quite often now, still she loves it.
No innuendo intended 🙂
Fibs.
Love.
Must be
a link there,
that we gift them words
like precious gems, or silver, gold.
Ironic that a fib can be filled with honesty.
(Think I got my syllable count right.)
Brilliant! Syllable count spot on!
Thank you. I really enjoyed this, it’s been a fun conversation.
I
agree with
you, I often
answer comments, replies with
poetry
lol,
for me i
ts fun and
practice too, take care
Mick
I’m there
Lovely piece 😊 insomnia is pretty horrid though. I drew a cartoon on it. You can find it on my blog. It’s http://www.luthienthegreen.wordpress.com if you’d like to look.