I’ve already put more thought into your next sentence than you have.
Can you hear them?
All the words chattering behind my eyes
working out a way to get inside your mouth?
I know you’re not a bad person.
Lord knows I know you would never say these things!
But there’s that part of my brain
ticking over and over and over and over
and each time it ticks there’s another snipe, jeer, remark
worming deeper into my grey matter
to the squirming core of lies I create for myself.
When I go home I will dissect this conversation.
Post-mortem my comments until I’ve found every mistake.
Run your talk through countless translations
hunting for the hidden meanings you didn’t plant
just so I can wonder what you meant by it
and who else you could have said it to?
All the while we will be smiling,
all the while we will be happy,
all the while I won’t say anything about these thoughts
buzzing in my brain.
Last week I was reading a post by Suzie Speaks about overthinking, something I have a fair amount of experience with. It reminded me of the start of this poem and I decided that it might be worth giving it another visit. Suzie’s post is well worth a read so if you get the chance I recommend dropping by her blog and taking a look for yourself. You could even write your own post on the subject. I’ve found that often with these things, the best way to tackle them is by talking about them and a single post can be the start of a much bigger conversation.
After all, WordPress is a community, and if you can’t share your experiences here, then where else can you?