This Is Not Weakness

Will you still love me

when I got nothing but my aching soul

Lana Del Rey – Young And Beautiful


This Is Not Weakness

I take pride in my independence.

The way I make decisions for myself,

choosing how many rungs to climb,

which skill to equip my mind with,

which challenges to tackle next.


That is why when I stare at the ceiling,

listening to the rain outside our window

in the early hours before dawn breaks

I have to remind myself that this isn’t weakness.


I dare not tell people

how you stand guard against the blue days.

How you can peel the lead from my bones,

soothe the hurricanes in my head,

and find me among the shadows without a torch.


These days,

it is not right to need someone

but some days

I can’t do anything

but need you.


I have to remind myself that this is not weakness,

this is partnership,

and love doesn’t make me any less.

I am allowed to cling to you

when the world feels like it will blow away

because this thing between us

we built it



It’s Tuesday Poetics over at dVerse Poets Pub and tonight we have a musical theme to work with.

The prompt is to use a line from your favourite song to inspire a poem. I think I was meant to actually put the line in the body of the poem but I’m afraid I couldn’t work out how to do that with this piece without it sounding forced so I’ve left it at the top instead.

I’ve spent the last hour agonizing over this poem and I’m still not completely happy with the end but all I’m doing now is tweaking one word here and another there so I thought it best to just stop and hit publish before I ruin the whole piece.  If you have any constructive feedback I’d really love to hear it.

If not, make sure you still check out the rest of the poets over at the pub as see what fantastic, musical muses they have dug up.

Thanks for reading.


        1. I think it can get overlooked sometimes. Especially for women like myself who have grown up trying to carve themselves in the world. I come from a family of incredibly strong women and there can be such a pressure to be strong and independent, that we forget that a little vulnerability isn’t a crime. We’re still human and humans at their core need those connections with other people.


          1. A tough life does harden the layers and it becomes difficult to let people underneath. Hard layers are hard to penetrate. I can understand that, I try actively not to harden myself. Sometimes I feel it coming. That is why blogs like these help.


  1. “That is why when I stare at the ceiling,

    listening to the rain outside our window”

    An all too familiar feeling! This was beautiful!


  2. So refreshing and extremely delightful!!! I must admit I imagined Machine Gun Kelly rapping the whole poem…I hope you aren’t offended…but it seemed amazing like that.


  3. I too loved these lines: soothe the hurricanes in my head, and find me among the shadows without a torch – such love built up for years between two people.


  4. “How you can peel the lead from my bones,

    soothe the hurricanes in my head,

    and find me among the shadows without a torch.”

    such beautiful imagery. the surrender in last stanza is so good.


  5. First of all, this moved me immensely and I wouldn’t personally change a word of it.
    I think perspective really comes into play when we struggle with independence in a relationship and I think you realized this in your poem…a relationship can be one of the most delicate constructions of all time….we need two people to hold it up, treasure it, lean gently on it from time to time. Thanks for this heartfelt poem.


  6. I love the sentiments of this poem, so often we think we have to be strong and so often there is so much more to be gained by acknowledging our frailty and vulnerability.


  7. I just popped over from the Community Pool to read your verse — which is so beautiful, romantic and inspiring! I left a longer comment on your post over there. Hope it helps, but it looks like you’re well on your way to getting more views. 🙂


  8. Hey Carol, I liked the poem. We don’t become any less of that perfect person if we lay in bed listening to the rains or miss somebody or want to cling on to someone. So many barriers that we build for ourselves by wanting to be “that perfect independent person” all the time… Liked it..


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