Split Second

I can find you in the hammering between my heartbeats,

that moment of tightness when my breath stutters for a pause

my fingers tighten on the seams of my trousers and I can’t let go,

the split second where the world reduces to a pin-head.

 

When the oxygen leaves a room your chest hollows.

It is not a pleasant experiences, it’s both pain sharp and crushing.

It’s not my pulse in my ears but a waterfall exploding

threatening to burst me open like a balloon stretch too thin.

 

That is when I find you in the back of my mind,

when I feel your hands against my shoulders

and your strength against my spine.

 

Old conversations saved up like pennies rattle loose

until their weight is enough to keep me grounded

until my lungs catch up with my breath .

dverselogo

We’re writing a non-metered, non rhyming sonnet tonight at the dVerse Poets Pub. I’m hoping my attempt is close enough to count as a response to the prompt but I’ll let someone else be the judge of that.

 

 

18 Comments

  1. That sudden rising fear, you described it so well. But this was my favourite bit-Old conversations saved up like pennies rattle loose

    until their weight is enough to keep me grounded

    until my lungs catch up with my breath.

  2. The first stanza is wonderfully ambiguous as it conveys the excitement (and anxiety) of new love as well as the feelings of a relationship gone wrong, leaving the meaning to the reader. I love the rhythm in the phrase ‘hammering between my heartbeats’ and my breath stutters for a pause’. The fingers tightening on the trouser seams is original and so well observed. I love the lines:
    ‘It’s not my pulse in my ears but a waterfall exploding
    threatening to burst me open like a balloon stretch too thin’.
    The volta is beautifully done, quiet and gentle, and that final stanza blew me away.

  3. Killer volta, terrific sonnet–a grand souffle of sensuality & ambiguity. Enjoyed it very much–so many great views of Love out here on the trail–Neruda must be smiling–as is Bjorn.

  4. It sounded like a real heart attack to me, albeit not fatal (perhaps angina) and the gradual calming helped by remembering a good, wise friend.

  5. I love the last stanza – so calm. the anticipation in the first stanza, the fear, everything comes together so well in this. And yes, you nailed it!

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