Poetry
Comments 18

Split Second

I can find you in the hammering between my heartbeats,

that moment of tightness when my breath stutters for a pause

my fingers tighten on the seams of my trousers and I can’t let go,

the split second where the world reduces to a pin-head.

 

When the oxygen leaves a room your chest hollows.

It is not a pleasant experiences, it’s both pain sharp and crushing.

It’s not my pulse in my ears but a waterfall exploding

threatening to burst me open like a balloon stretch too thin.

 

That is when I find you in the back of my mind,

when I feel your hands against my shoulders

and your strength against my spine.

 

Old conversations saved up like pennies rattle loose

until their weight is enough to keep me grounded

until my lungs catch up with my breath .

dverselogo

We’re writing a non-metered, non rhyming sonnet tonight at the dVerse Poets Pub. I’m hoping my attempt is close enough to count as a response to the prompt but I’ll let someone else be the judge of that.

 

 

This entry was posted in: Poetry

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Carol Forrester is a twenty-three year old writer trying to be a better one. Don’t ask her what her hobbies are because the list doesn’t get much beyond, reading, writing and talking about the same. She has a 2:1 BA degree in history from Bath Spa University and various poems and stories scattered across the net. Her flash fiction story ‘Glorious Silence’ was named as River Ram Press’ short story of the month for August 2014 and her short story ‘A Visit From The Fortune Teller’ has been showcased on the literary site Ink Pantry’s. Most recently, her poem ‘Sunsets’ was featured on Eyes Plus Words, and her personal blog Writing and Works hosts a mass of writing from across the last five years. She has been lucky enough to write guest posts for sites such as Inky Tavern and Song of The Forlorn and is always open to writing more and hosting guest bloggers here on Writing and Works. With hopes of publishing a novel in the next five years and perhaps a collection or two of smaller works, Carol Forrester is nothing if not ambitious. Her writing tries to cover every theme in human life and a lot of her work pulls inspiration from her own eccentric family in the rural wonders of Shropshire life.

18 Comments

  1. That sudden rising fear, you described it so well. But this was my favourite bit-Old conversations saved up like pennies rattle loose

    until their weight is enough to keep me grounded

    until my lungs catch up with my breath.

  2. The first stanza is wonderfully ambiguous as it conveys the excitement (and anxiety) of new love as well as the feelings of a relationship gone wrong, leaving the meaning to the reader. I love the rhythm in the phrase ‘hammering between my heartbeats’ and my breath stutters for a pause’. The fingers tightening on the trouser seams is original and so well observed. I love the lines:
    ‘It’s not my pulse in my ears but a waterfall exploding
    threatening to burst me open like a balloon stretch too thin’.
    The volta is beautifully done, quiet and gentle, and that final stanza blew me away.

  3. Glenn Buttkus says

    Killer volta, terrific sonnet–a grand souffle of sensuality & ambiguity. Enjoyed it very much–so many great views of Love out here on the trail–Neruda must be smiling–as is Bjorn.

  4. Rosemary Nissen-Wade says

    It sounded like a real heart attack to me, albeit not fatal (perhaps angina) and the gradual calming helped by remembering a good, wise friend.

  5. I love the last stanza – so calm. the anticipation in the first stanza, the fear, everything comes together so well in this. And yes, you nailed it!

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