When the door shut behind you
I felt my chest crack open
like a plum ripe to splitting
skin purpled like shadow
and tearing at the seams
to reveal the framework of bone
latticed around deflating lungs
my sternum finally loosening
as I breathed out at last.
Tonight we’re writing concept poems over at Poetics for dVersePoetsPub. If you want to join in click the badge above to check out the prompt.
That image of the ripe plum is especially precise.
Wow! Heartbreak.
An evisceration!. …..matters of the heart are so painful.
Indeed they are
The plum splitting….what an image! so raw and visceral, full of pain.
Nice description of a situation that makes one hold one’s breath.
Thank you Frank
The breath out symbolises relief or letting go…perhaps?
Perhaps both
letting go of the pain
That explosion of relief sounds as though it might have been pretty messy.
Indeed.
Oh Carol, I know that door closing, the mixture of relief, regret, what might have been, what never was. Well done. Love the plum metaphor.
Thank you Sarah.
Good golly, this is impressive! I love that it could be that the door is closing in front of or behind, that someone could be coming or going, that the exhale good be pain or love or list or relief.
I love this poem.
Thank you. I think this is the most unique interpretation. Made me wonder myself.
Wow! You’ve got a world of symbolism there! Lots and lots of imagery
Too much?
No, it’s perfect!
Yes, the plum splitting, like others have said. Lovely bit of writing.
Thank you Misky
A powerful metaphor of love too ripe, heartbreak…catching your breath.
A painful goodbye, beautifully drawn!
Thank you Beverly.
Emotion packed with the bonus of a plum. Wonderful!
Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Anxiety for sure at whatever loss you are experiencing. Loved the ribs latticed around the lungs!
Dwight
Thank you Dwight, you might just be the closest
Thanks Carol… You had great imagery in this one!
A broken heart ‘like a plum ripe to splitting’ – brilliant imagery, Carol!
Thank you Kim.
I like the splitting plum too, a very raw and real love that will be carried by the body until the bitter end. XX
A bit like the stone in the plum. Thanks for the comment Alison. If you’ve got a moment I’d love your thoughts on another poem I put up yesterday called Legs Eleven.
have you made a mistake…? doubt..followed by a flood of memories..and then some ease…unmistakable imagery
That’s a confident guess.
At first I thought it was fear… but the ending turns it around and I see it as the release of fear now.
Your body is enacting the split without bias. But when you breathe out at last, there is relief, and dare I say peace, as your mind catches up to your matter.