Poetry
Comments 43

March Madness #DVersePoets #HaibunMonday

My sister and I are taking about family and afterwards I write about Wonderland. The way in which it frightened me as a child when Alice falls, and fall, and falls, and falls, and all the while the world is whirling upwards, downwards, outwards in patterns whorled inside each other like carnivorous flowers, too consumed with consuming each other to notice she is screaming.

Someone asks me if I’m mad, without asking that specifically, because you know, that would be unkind. I tell her I’m not delusional. Reassure her, don’t mention again the shadows I keep seeing out of the corners of my eyes, my white rabbits flitting out of sight each time I turn. Put it down to an over active imagination. Tell myself the same.

Spring plays peek-a-boo,

the white rabbit’s ears twitch twice,

I am clinging on.

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This entry was posted in: Poetry

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Carol J Forrester is a writer trying to be a better one. She’s currently working on her first novel ‘Darkened Daughter’ and attempting to put together a collection of poetry in the hopes of submitting to publication in 2020. She has a 2:1 BA degree in history from Bath Spa University, enjoys judo at least twice a week, and tries to attend poetry events around the Midlands. Her flash fiction story ‘Glorious Silence’ was named as River Ram Press’ short story of the month for August 2014 and her short story ‘A Visit From The Fortune Teller’ has been showcased on the literary site Ink Pantry. Her poem ‘Sunsets’ was featured on Eyes Plus Words, and two of her poems were included in the DVerse Poets Pub Publication ‘Chiaroscuro’ which is available for purchase on amazon. More recently her poem ‘Until The Light Gets In‘ was accepted and published at The Drabble and her poem ‘Newborn’ was published by Ink Sweat & Tears. She has been lucky enough to write guest posts for sites such as Inky Tavern and Song of The Forlorn and has hosted a number of guest bloggers here on Writing and Works.

43 Comments

  1. Oh, I love this! I think many of us have “overactive” imaginations. That last line is wonderful.

    There was a children’s book that came in a group of books for my daughters when they were little. Some kind of Scholastic Books deal maybe. It was about toys that go down the drain. I couldn’t even finish reading it to them. They were crying and so upset at the thought because those toys were alive. This was a pretty popular book, I think. It should have carried a big warning sticker on it. 🙂

    • Neil Gaiman gave a talk about ‘trigger warnings’ for books and how they seem like a good idea on the face of it, but when you look back at the books you read yourself as a child, how did the books that frightened you shape you? Would you have been the same person if you didn’t explore books without ‘warnings’ and in the end who sets warnings. It comes down to parental judgement in the end for very young readers, and then we have to learn our own sort of judgement for what to read.
      That does sound like a very dark children’s book though. The one book I read as a child that I couldn’t get through was Day Of The Triffids. Still can’t pick it up.

  2. Oh I do love the second part especially… though I don’t think you are mad, and neither am I think that there is always that doubt, the white rabbit in the corner of your eye.

  3. Glenn Buttkus says

    At my house we have portals, and we get spirit guests sometimes; often they walk by in the corner of my eye. As a child, I hated the mean old Queens of Hearts, and her propensity for beheading. As an actor, I appeared in a production of ALICE, playing the King of Hearts.

    • I didn’t know you were an actor Glenn. Thankfully I don’t think there are any portals in this house. I’m not great with physical house guests, nevermind spiritual ones.

  4. “Why, oh why, didn’t (we) take the blue pill!” Now, we all get to see just “how far down the rabbit hole goes.” Love the Alice allusions!

  5. I hated the book about Alice. But trigger warnings? No. I Don’t think so. Life doesn’t come with trigger warnings. Some things we take with us forever but then again, something’s we get over and move on. Keep hanging on girl. We all have our buggaboos.

  6. Powerful post, Carol. I never liked Alice in Wonderland as a kid and your description brought realization – when the ground around you is always crumbling, you don’t want to read about falling.

  7. Ah, it’s a mind-boggling thing at times — delusion or an over-active imagination, the white rabbit has a tendency of catching us unaware. I love how you put “madness” into context through the Alice allusions and metaphors. “I am clinging on” definitely provides a much-needed hope. 🙂

  8. I love this! I have an affinity to rabbits, maybe that explains a lot about me. I twitch and silently appear at the strangest times and places.

    • I’m never quite sure about rabbits. I come from a farming family so my rabbit stew isn’t unheard of, though I’ve never had it myself. I’ve always preferred hares.

  9. Great post Carol! This is me sharin’ my truth. When I am concentrating on my writing I wear my reading/writing glasses, thich glasses – because I chose long-field clarity over reading clarity when I had my catarac surgery done several years ago. I wanted to read street signs, and see the rest of the world, without wearing glasses. Best decision I ever made. Miraculous! Now, as I concentrate on my iPad screen, wearing my glasses, occasional shadows or liitle formless critters will seem o flit by my peripheral vision from time to time, just out of the focal area of my lens. When I first saw them years sgo, I would glace over. Nothing ever there. I hardly give them a though anymore. I chalk them up to eye strain, to my diabetes, to my imagination leaking while in creative mode – or something other? Of course, these might just be our muses Carol?! Liked your write here. Alice Through the Looking Glass, Wizard of Oz, Grimm Fairey Tales, these are terrifying stories told, I believe, to trsumatize hildren to the afults amusement. Early Walt Disney gets in on this as well. Mamy cultures have traditional stories and ficticious characters to frighten children into behaving. Strange human fascination… enjoyed your hsibun here Carol… 🙂

    • Oh Rob, you have no idea how reassuring that is. From the sounds of it, it’s pretty common.
      During my A-Levels my english teacher told us that fairy tales were originally oral stories for adults. It was people like the Brothers Grimm who took those oral tales and wrote them down, tuning them towards children more so than adults. Writers such as Angela Carter have since taken those stories and returned them to their original audience, writing fantastic books such as The Bloody Chamber.

  10. ‘ears twitch twice’ is the perfect touch.

    I suspect adults forget how much children see and carry with them from their experiences. What we read as children can be very real.

    • Thank you Nora and your right. I’m not sure Day Of The Triffids would have the same impact on me now as an adult as it did but at the time it planted itself deep.

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