Was I a plaster
you slapped on
to cover the burns
left by your family?
Something temporary,
to hide the harm.
Was he water?
More than you’d seen
all in one place
and so inviting
you were willing
to drown.
Did you lose me
on purpose?
Or did the currents
just pull us apart?
Either way,
did you notice
that I was gone?
The questions that are left when love leaves. They are some of the hardest. Excellent write! One point- you may want to look at the first stanza. Is your supposed to be you, in the line ‘your slapped on?’
Yes, that is meant to be ‘you’ not ‘your’. Thanks for the heads up.
My pleasure- I always appreciate someone letting me know when I make an error like that. 😊
Good one. Love that last question.
“Either way,
did you notice
that I was gone?”
A sad question that lingers.
Indeed
Very interesting take on the prompt; liked it–dark and sad, yet stoic and proud. I did have some gender confusion. If the narrator is female, /Is He water?/ seems to suggest the boyfriend is attracted to another man. Makes for a different kind of love poem.
I don’t actually specify the type of love. It’s a poem about a friend who cut all ties after getting with a new guy.
Minimalist but speaks volumes. Intense emotion radiates from it.
Your poem resonates with me very much. I have lost a friend in much the same way, a friend who I never imagined I could ever lose. Your pain is palpable.
This was a fascinating perspective on a relationship pulling apart. Fine write Carol!
Nice lines: “Did you lose me
on purpose?”
I feel the pull of these questions. Very moving and deep.