Unspoken Confession #DVersePoets #PoetryFormNight

Did you hear me say ‘I love you’ last night?

when I left the kiss of it on your skin

and curled my hands into claws oh so tight

wondered who led who, into all this sin.

Wondered if sin was what we’re really in

then lost the edge of my thought on your lips

found it again in the dips of your hips,

tried to tell you, that you were everything

the only one I trust when this mask slips

a lover, a partner, my rock, my life spring.



Tonight’s form challenge is a Dizain. A ten line poem with ten syllables per line and a rhyme scheme that follows the pattern ababbccdcd.





  1. Such a stunning Unspoken Confession, Carol. I especially love the lines:
    ‘when I left the kiss of it on your skin
    and curled my hands into claws oh so tight
    wondered who led who, into all this sin’
    and the phrase ‘lost the edge of my thought on your lips’ – sublime!


      1. I agree, form is a challenge, but it’s necessary for developing writing skills. Some forms I find laborious, some too close to doggerel, and others just blow my mind. I quite like this one.


        1. It’s quite a nice one and it’s easy enough to wrap your head round. Some I find so rigid and complicated that I feel like I’m solving an equation rather than writing a poem and just get frustrated.


  2. I like how you merge the two parts of it, switch in rhyme, switch in direction, and it sounds conversational, not stilted.
    I think you got the rhyme pattern a bit twisted in the last two lines btw. This was a tough one. Mine came out sounding as though I was trying to write Elizabethan English.


  3. A lovely write, and I agree you gave the form some energy when you made it conversational. Romantic with a tinge of morality; spicy.


  4. I think this is brilliant. I love the eroticism, and the love.

    Reading the comments above about having to swap your original last two lines to get the rhyme scheme right, I can see that your original would have been an even stronger finish – but only very slightly, as it’s strong this way too, so it was a good solution.


        1. The quality of my poetry has gone up too. I got the manuscript of my poetry collection back today and the feedback has been so good. I think being braver and more honest has made me a much better poet.


  5. Really enjoyed this. It is a shame, however, that sin and skin rhyme. So sad that they are thought of together in our remnant Victoria minds. Made me wonder why this had to be a sin.


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