The outcrop was low and Emile had to crouch for it to work as a windbreaker. Crouching made her thighs burn, but so did walking, and crouching in a low crag meant she could almost feel her face again.
She unhooked the water-skin from her belt and weighted it in her hand. Tried to judge how much she would need to get her down the the mountain.
More than she had.
She put it back and swallowed her thirst. Ignored the wind stripped skeletons propped against the same crag, one holding onto the withered trunk of a sapling to stunted to reach beyond two foot. She closed her eyes to the wedding bands.
These memories were left here with the trees, broken, dead, or dying.
Emile stamped her feet and braced herself.
She was not going to join them.
She’d promised herself more.
I’ve been trying to turn my attention back to my novel Darkened Daughter, and in doing so I’ve been working on some new characters to incorporate to the redraft. Yesterday I played around with Hanson and Raven for the #WeekendWritingPrompt and tonight I’m trying to work out Emile’s story. I might not use any of them in the novel but I’ve found that flash fiction can be really helpful in sounding out characters that might otherwise get lost in a novel.
I think that working on your characters in flash is a great idea. I remember reading the flash of Claire Fuller…. I did feel that this could stand as a story by itself, but also how it could fit as part of a larger part.
Thanks Bjorn. I’ve been really focused on poetry and study for the last few months so I’m trying to ease back into the novel.
I think the ending nails this as flash, though I definitely could also see it fleshed out as part of something larger. Good luck on your novel!
A sight I would not want to find while hiking!
Indeed.
Excellent story Carol!
Thank you Linda
I have to admit, my attention was held because my name is the character’s. But what kept me reading was the way the character was presented. Kept me interested in the development. Great writing technique. Too bad she won’t really be in the novel.
I’m going to work her into something longer I think. Playing with a few possibilities.
Oh, nice, a proper story. I want to know what happens next – and where she’s come from.
I don’t think you quite know how happy reading ‘a proper story’ made me. I love writing fantasy fiction pieces but they don’t often get as many reads as poems.
Good story– I think my memories will be left with my La-z-Boy.
There are worse places to be left.
The thing about writing a novel is it will wait faithfully like an old dog, for you to return and give it some attention. This piece works well for the prompt, and yet still feels like a part of something bigger; cool.
Thank you Glenn, you’re right about novels waiting for you to return, this one has been very patient with me.
I very much enjoy the rich imagery here, Carol.
Thank you.
You’re welcome.
I agree that flash fiction is a great way to flesh out your characters, Carol. Starting in the middle of the action is a great way to start a short piece and I found myself crouching with Emile. I got a chill from the description of the ‘wind stripped skeletons propped against the same crag, one holding onto the withered trunk of a sapling to stunted to reach beyond two foot’ – and those wedding bands!
Thank you Kim, I’m so happy to hear you could picture yourself next to her. I love reading stories where I feel like that so if I can incorporate that sense of intensity into my own writing then I feel like I’m doing something right.
My favorite line is, “She . . . swallowed her thirst.” And the mystery suggested by the fact that she avoided looking at their wedding bands. That seems the crux of the story.
I’m glad you liked it. I think having a word limit does make us focus on what is said in the things not explicitly mentioned. We have to get creative in how we tell the story and that can lead to finding some fantastic words and phrases.
I agree, and it force us to cut out the deadwood. Forces me to, at least.
Excellent writing Carol ! Good use of the prompt line. Enjoyed reading this.
Thank you Rob.