Comments 42

Not Quite #Poem #Poetry

Last night I dreamed you real.

Felt you within the softness of my belly.

Loved you an existence.

Broke my heart open,

when this dream came loose.

Woke to pre-dawn,

a sleeping husband,

a house just the same,

and an ache too close to grief

for someone not quite here yet.


If you want to read more of my work you can buy my poetry collection ‘It’s All In The Blood‘ on Kindle or in paperback from Amazon.

This entry was posted in: Poetry


Carol Forrester is a writer trying to be a better one. She’s currently working on a poetry collection 'It's All In The Blood'. She has a 2:1 BA degree in history from Bath Spa University, enjoys judo at least twice a week, and tries to attend poetry events around the Midlands when she can. Her flash fiction story ‘Glorious Silence’ was named as River Ram Press’ short story of the month for August 2014 and her short story ‘A Visit From The Fortune Teller’ has been showcased on the literary site Ink Pantry. Her poems ‘Sunsets’ and ‘Clear Out‘ were featured on Eyes Plus Words, and two of her poems were included in the DVerse Poets Pub Publication ‘Chiaroscuro’ which is available for purchase on amazon. More recently her poem ‘Until The Light Gets In‘ was accepted and published at The Drabble and her poem ‘Newborn’ was published by Ink Sweat & Tears. She has been lucky enough to write guest posts for sites such as Inky Tavern and Song of The Forlorn and has hosted a number of guest bloggers on her site Writing and Works.


    • I get them every now and again. They’re in the plan, but I find the dreams knock me off kilter for days afterwards. Feels like I’ve lost something despite it only being a dream.

        • Oh Jane I’m so sorry to hear that, my sympathies.
          I think part of the reason these dreams throw me through a loop is that I feel guilty about how sad they make me. I’ve not lost anything, I’ve never been pregnant, but still I dream about this phantom baby.

          • Maternity and the impulse to have a baby are very strong. Longing for one and it not happening is as distressing as starting one and losing it. There’s no reasoning the emotion, it just is.

  1. Glenn A. Buttkus says

    Baby hunger leads to baby dreams, as hormones flare and the heart pines for motherhood; stunning in its simplicity and clarity.

  2. A moving poem, Carol, especially as I lost two after Ellen was born. She is currently undergoing all sorts of tests and treatment in order to have another baby. That sort of dream always feels real. My favourite lines:
    ‘Loved you an existence’
    ‘…an ache too close to grief
    for someone not quite here yet’.

  3. Babies in dreams can mean being pregnant with a new idea. Only you can decipher what the baby in your dream means to you.

  4. Your words are so powerful as obviously are these dreams that reoccur. I was happy to read that you had not in reality lost a pregnancy. I too wrote of dreaming–they are such a mystery much of the time. But you’re right, some do stay with us stirring our emotions.
    Gayle ~

  5. Colleen@ LOOSELEAFNOTES says

    Ah yes, I could have written that. It’s just like that. We take whatever connections we can get. Thanks.

  6. Beverly Crawford says

    I used to have a recurring dream and I always felt some phantom ancestor was trying to send me a message which I never understood. After I retired the dream stopped, and I finally came to believe it had to do with the stress of my job! I’m sorry your dream leaves an unsettling emotion of grief.

  7. Dreams, something we can all relate to yet we all experience them on our own. We are never fully able to share the experience of a dream. This felt like it held many emotions.

    • Thank you. It’s a very personal poem so I wouldn’t expect everyone who reads it to feel the same way about the emotion behind it. It’s nice to hear you still connected with it.

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