Upstairs a door slammed. Then another, and another, until finally the cast iron monstrosity at the top of the stairs shuddered open.
‘Quickly now grab me a jar!’ The jumped the last three steps. Ellsmore jolted awake and darted for the draining board.
He fumbled with the jars but turned in time. The surgeon eased his hands over the open mouth and opened them slowly.
It thunked against the glass.
‘Real bad ‘un this one,’ said the surgeon and wiped his hands on his trousers.
Ellsmore closed the jar. The thing shivered.
‘What is it?’
The surgeon scowled. ‘There are moments caught between heart beats. They make us, us. This one, made a very, very, bad man.’
Ellsmore swallowed thickly.
‘If you cut it out, does that make him a good man?’
‘Well that depends.’
‘On what?’
‘On the moments I didn’t cut out.’
‘
Carol J Forrester - Writing and Works 
what makes us, us – such a powerful image of what we contain within us
The cast-iron monstrosity really sets the tone for the thrills and creepiness! Ellsmore jolting awake gives us more sense of unreality. The open mouth calls up questions (is it the jar’s mouth or the mouth of the man?)
Creative and macabre, almost Gothic horror. Evil, like cancer, can hide in every crevice and organ it seems.
I could hear the doors clanking and visualize the what was taking place. Well done.
This one’s deliciously dark and menacing, Carol! It’s also kind of retro, the belief that you can cut out evil moments. Is the cast iron monstrosity at the top of the stairs a mortuary drawer?
Just damn dude. I loved it.
Woah – this feels like the start of a whole novel. Very steampunk. Loved it.
Nice write
Much❤love
Wow. Very gothic in feel.
What a wonderful and dark approach to this. I would love to read a continuation of this.
Oh my gosh! This could be a horror movie plot. WoW. Dark, menacing….horror! Glad I’m reading this in the morning and not just before I go to bed or for sure, these images and words would carry through to a nightmare!!!! I think I shall go stand on our sun-filled San Diego deck for a minute 🙂 YIKES!
Brilliant combination. Distillation of what we instinctively feel – those crucial decisions we make that define our moral and psychic selves, juxtaposed with a host of questions. Why are they all here? What kind of surgery is this that can excise our evil moments? What else lurks within the body of the person on the table? And of course: what happens next?
Great stuff!
Thank you Guy, I’m glad you enjoyed it.