I find enough dregs in this coffee cup
to stay past closing,
beyond the last click of the latch catching
and the solid drone of the dishwasher ending
the soft clink, clink, clink of glasses settling
back into their neat, tidy shelves.
We listen to the distant dissonant clamour
of other lingering loiterers,
drifting through honeyed darkness,
a slow breath seeping
out, out, out,
like a last.
My own chest filled with gurgle, and cackle,
a sunken, sodden conversation
I dread to dredge up.
Embellish the quiet with a sudden, empty sigh
your own tense shoulders easing
when I finally chose the word goodnight.
1. Write a SOUND POEM which includes AT LEAST ONE from EACH of the FIVE HEARING CATEGORY SELECTIONS below: (reference the hearing words you chose in your post).
- bellow; clink; drone; jingle; quiver;
- clamour; dissonant; rip-roaring; tempestuous; vociferous;
- dulcet: honeyed; poetic; sonorous; tonal;
- blabber; cackle; dribble; gurgle; seethe;
- beseech; chant; drawl; embellish; intone
Feel free to dip deeper into your chosen words by elaborating further from the Thesaurus with synonyms and antonyms
I love what you did here.. the first stanza is filled with all those sounds, then how everything slows down until it trickles out to a parting… goodnight. Love the melancholy of your poem.
Thank you Bjorn. The ending was probably the trickiest part as I spent ages trying to work out how to use a word from that last line of options. It didn’t even occur to me until afterwards that I didn’t have to use them in order.
really enjoyed reading this poem, several times! you have some sensational sounds in addition to the word choice “the soft clink, clink, clink of glasses settling”- and the mood that ripples, murmurs and sighs beneath all the externals
Thank you Laura. For some reason the prompt words brought up a really clear memory of a café where I used to go for poetry evenings, so I had a bit of fun creating a little story with that.
You put ,me in mind of the t50’s and all night diners, like a slice out of a novel, it breathes between the lines, implying and teasing, making the reader want more.
Thank you Glenn.
This is gorgeously rendered! I especially admire; “The distant dissonant clamour of other lingering loiterers, drifting through honeyed darkness, a slow breath seeping out, out, out, like a last.” 💝💝
Thank you. I was thinking about those hours where the last of the late workers head home, and it’s almost like a city is exhaling its last breath for the night.
What is it about the close of a coffee shop that’s both sad and elevating at the same time?
Pretty much. I used to go to a poetry event that took place in a coffee shop in the evenings, when the rest of the Highstreet was closed. It was a strange contrast of life and sleep.
This was so engaging, I could feel the awareness of place and the reluctance — do well written Carol.
Thank you Rob.
Ear-tickling. Love this work. Thanks.
Thank you Ron. Got to get a few feathers in my poems.
It was like sitting beside you in this space, with careful and vivid were the sounds you selected. Must say my favorite use of the words is how you “embellish the quiet” an inspiring line.
Thank you. I have to admit that the word embellish had be stuck for a while, I was convinced it didn’t quite slot into the poem and spent ages moving it around. It ended up in the first place I put it. 🙄
Oh, man, sounds familiar, but you know you gave it full options. It ended up in just the right spot. 😃
Carol what a strong scene, and captured with perfectly described realism…poetry at this level is just stunning….the words in my comment are just tumbling out in disorder cause I’m still a bit numbed. And that is simply true.
Thank you so much, that’s really lovely to hear. The critic that lives in my brain will of course say you’re being too kind, but the compliments are appreciated still.
I really enjoyed this. That first stanza does such a wonderful job of setting the scene
yeah! and I love the ending too! “goodnight”
☕
David
Thank you. I’ve been trying recently to really focus in on the small things that make up a scene.
Beautiful opening lines, and such vivid descriptions! I loved this 🙂
Thank you
I love the sounds of this poem, Carol, especially: ‘ distant dissonant clamour
of other lingering loiterers,’ – alliterative heaven 🙂
Thank you Ingrid, I was just lucky that the words lined up for me with this poem.
Such a story and a great end.
Thank you.
What a wonderful ‘sound’ poem and marvellous alliteration!
Thank you.
You are welcome.
i shall be hearing this as i settle tonight. great sound poem
Thank you!
Amazing use of the sound words. The event of winding down achieved
Nice one
Much love …
Thank you Gillena.
Soooo many fabulous sounds in this poem! I read it a second time, aloud. Wonderful. It sizzles with sounds 🙂
Smitten with this line:
“beyond the last click of the latch catching”
Are you coming to dVerse LIVE today? Go to dVerse main site and find the link to join us. Would LOVE to have you read this aloud for the group! We’re LIVE from 3 to 4 PM today….and if it lasts a little longer, there’s a second link to click on at 4 PM.
Just go to dVerse at 3 today, or between 3 and 4 today (Eastern time – Boston time) and you’ll find the easy directions and link to join us live.
Planning on being there with possibly a little guest in tow 😊
Athena is beautiful!
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