Kettle Meltdown and Writing Boom

The Kettle

So this was how my day started, which really should have been a warning about how the rest of it was going to unfold. I’ve spent my work hours trying to fix problems while new ones kept popping up to do the cha-cha across my desk, mocking me as I hurried out to run errands.

I survived though! And now I’m sat at home ready to do yet more work! Yay!

Darkened Daughter is still ploughing ahead, last night I managed a 3,000 word chapter in just over an hour. I even fitted in writing a poem, and today I might have come up with a short story idea. Writing is going well.

Over the past couple of days this blog has even seen a spike in stats, which is impressive as it has sorted fallen to the wayside as Darkened Daughter pushed on past. 3,000 words a night doesn’t leave much time for blogging… or housework for that matter. My apologies to the patient pile of ironing still sat in the living room, I will get around to you eventually.

The big news however, has to be the relaunch of Headquarters. What’s on this site will stay, but all those short, little diddely bits will be expanded upon and reposted, [to a regular schedule] on a new blog specifically set up to host the storyline. So to all my readers, you are most cordially invited to the on-line, launch party of Headquarters!

No need to bring wine, just a 500 word flash fiction of your Headquarters agent. The favourite five will be posts on an ‘Employee Of The Month’ page for all of time and for any visitors of Headquarters to take a look at. A short bio of each writer and a link to their blog will be included as well.

The Deadline for this challenge will be 3.00pm GMT on November 1st 2015. The site will go live at 11pm October 31st so make sure you’re ready to post up your flash!

https://headquartersbycaroljforrester.wordpress.com/

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Writing Erotic For The First [And Probably Only] Time [Contains Content Some May Find Offensive]

Tonight I rang my mother to ask if she would have an issue with me entering an erotic short story competition being run by Ann Summers. Now before I go any further I’m not about to start writing erotica as a regular thing or ever posting any on here, actually if this experience is anything to go by I may never touch the genre again, but a challenge is a challenge and this one included the possibility of prize money. Anyway, I rang my mother and she responded with her typical “no not really”, “it’s not like you’re posting naked pictures of yourself so go for it”. My mother can be surprisingly supportive when I’m not expecting it. She won’t read it of course. That would be way too weird. But she’s willing to support my attempt at trying to write something for a genre I haven’t tried because it involves entering a competition and with competitions come opportunities to progress as a writer.

So what I really need now is to stop giggling. Seriously, in all honesty, I need to stop giggling.

I read the first two hundred words to the boyfriend and could not stop myself from giggling any time anything mildly rude came up. Which in the case of an erotic short story is fairly regularly.

I cannot take myself seriously in this genre. How do erotic novelists do it? How do they read back their own work and not snort themselves silly at every other line.

I mean I’m a grown up, sort of. I’m twenty-one. I’ve have a boyfriend and yes, we have had sex. [Dear God I hope no one under eighteen reads this.] My point is that the idea of writing about sex should not reduce me to a childish heap of nonsense giggling her socks off at the word boob. I should be mature about this…

Yeah… that is easier said than done.

But in the end I have written a first draft. A little over a thousand words so it will need some trimming, but all in all I don’t think it’s too bad. I doubt I’ll write the next Fifty Shades of Gray, but it’s been an interesting experience. Who knows, the judges might even like it. The world can be a crazy place.

Do let me know what your thoughts are, have you ever had to write anything and been unable to take yourself seriously? Or is it just me?

If you’re interested in the competition here’s a link to Helen Yendall’s blog where I found the original post about it. From there you can find the link to the Ann Summer’s site. Deadline is January 23rd.

If At First You Don’t Succeed…

Curl up into a ball and hide yourself in the neatly types secrets of the Liddell Dairies from the National Archives.

A couple of months back I decided to take the plunge and send off a poem and a piece of flash fiction to a local literary magazine for their competition. It turns out the results came out a few days ago and my name is no where among them.

Now I’m aware that there are lots of people out there that are better than me at writing, I didn’t expect to go into that competition and come out with a prize, but I’ll admit my pride stings a bit at the idea that I wasn’t good enough for the short list.

But that’s part of being a writer isn’t it? You take the “no, no, no” until someone turns around and says “huh, you know what, you’re not half bad. Let’s give this a shot!”

I’ll just have to toughen up a bit and keep putting my writing out there. First though, I have some essay research to finish.

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A Terrible Opening Sentence!

Last week I sat down for my first creative writing lecture, my notepad open on my lap, and pen at the ready to take down notes. Alongside the basic information for assignment deadlines and the course layout, the lecturer brought up a selection of ‘terrible’ opening sentences for novels.

The varied from hilariously pointless, to cringe worthy moments of disgust. They were wonderful in their terribleness and she wanted us all to try and write out own.

So that shall be the inspiration for this post. Terrible opening sentences, and my first creative writing assignment. To write my own terrible opening sentence.

 

Saltworth was cold, soggy, dull and full of lifeless residents whose vicar preached the same dusty sermon, from the same dusty pulpit, at the same dust hour, every Sunday until the Sunday where communion was interrupted as he choked on the wafer, turned purple, died, and provided the greatest amount of excitement that Saltworth had ever seen.

 

It’s surprising how difficult it is to write a bad sentence on purpose, I find myself trying to adjust it in order to make it better.

Could you write a terrible, atrocious, heart wrenchingly bad opening sentence?

Link or comment me your sentences and I’ll pick out my top 5 terrible sentences at the end of the month. The winners will be featured in a shiny new page, ‘Contest Winners’, and also in a journal on my DA account.

So let me see your worst!

Deadline: 31st October 2012

 

(Here is a little poem for you all.)

Ruined by the Words

One sentence and you were done,

Thrown back to the shelf

With a disappointed scowl;

Because you’d looked pretty/

Interesting/unusual?

But you had spoilt in all,

In just one sentence!

And now I have that guilt,

-That comes with the knowledge-

Of seeing a fantastic cover,

And knowing someone else will read,

An awful opening sentence.

 

 

(Thanks to my lecturer Dr Carrie Etter for the inspiration for this post.)