The List

“Right,” said Death adjusted his new hat as we stepped out of the clothes shop, fresh soul in hand. “Hand me the list!”

Scowling at him and the crowds pressing towards us I shoved my hand into my pocket and pulled out the water-stained parchment crumpled against the lining.

“Ah, wonderful,” said Death, taking it between thumb and forefinger. “It survived your dip in the Thames then?”

“And the Ganges,” I shrugged. “You should really stop dropping us in rivers.”

“What can  I say,” shrugged Death, uncurling the list as he spoke. “Teleporting has it- Ange? Why does this say eggs, milk and cup-o-soup?”

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(104 Words)

Nepal

“Have you ever thought about travelling the world?” he asked her, sliding into the seat across from the one she’d snagged in the corner of the coffee shop. “I hear Nepal is nice this time of year.”
“Nepal?” she said, drawing her cappuccino a little closer. “Why Nepal?”
He shrugged and fiddled with the handle of his cup.”
“I just said, I heard it’s nice this time of year.”
“Then go.”
“I would, but I can’t alone.”
“Girlfriend?”
“Not got one.”
“Boyfriend?”
“Not my type.”
“Mother?”
“That would just be sad.”
She narrowed her eyes at the stranger.
“Just take a friend if that’s all that’s stopping you.”
“Now that’s a great idea. Hi, my name’s Mark.”
“Tammy.”
“Tammy, nice to meet you, I think we should be friends.”
“We’ve just met, like two seconds ago.”
“And already I sure you’re the sort of girl who wants to see Nepal.”

 

(150 Words)

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Precocious Much?

An experiment in dialogue. I have written purely dialogue based pieces before, but I tend to find them a lot more difficult to create and therefore tend to avoid them LIKE THE PLAGUE. Not that the plague is that difficult to avoid in somewhere like Shropshire and Bath. So maybe that saying should be adapted to “avoid it like someone who’s clearly suffering the oh so dreaded common cold. RUN CHILD RUN!” Anyway, this isn’t actually my submission for VisDare, just my take on the word attached to the prompt itself. I’ll do my entry for the real prompt for tomorrow. She says hopefully and with all the best intentions that can be mustered this side of the atmosphere. Wow I’m in a weird mood today. 

Random rant aside I would love to hear any feedback that any of you may have, but more importantly I hope you enjoy the story.


 

(141 Words)

“Do you have any idea how old words like that make you sound when you actually say them?”
“What? You mean precocious?”
“Yeah. I mean precocious. It makes you sound like something dragged up from the reign of Queen Vicky.”
“Actually, in it’s current state the word originates from the mid seventeenth century, but before that it can be traced back to the Latin praecoquere which means to ripen fully. However, if you go back further you’ll find the true roots are within two other Latin phrases, those being prae, before, and coquere, to cook. Neat huh?”
“I suppose.”
“You’ve got to love a Latin root, it really makes you feel like you know the word.”
“You’re starting to sound a little precocious yourself now.”
“Yeah, well you sound like a monarch slaying puritan. That’s not even how you use precocious!”

Lost And Found

The house was upside down. Quite literally.
Sat on the front lawn, Samantha stared at the upstairs bay windows now level with her garden fence.
“Found ’em?” asked her neighbor, trimming the box hedge between them.
“Yep.” she said. “Last place I looked of course.”
“And that was?”
“The toaster.”

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Time to start fibbing.

Humpty Dumpty and Alice. From Through the Look...
Humpty Dumpty and Alice. From Through the Looking-Glass. Illustration by John Tenniel. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Math?

Hard,

Hated,

Couldn’t stand!

All those equations!

And the answers I couldn’t find!

Yesterday I walked past the independent bookshop in my local town. I then doubled back and walked into the same bookshop, with the intent only to look and not to buy. My intent failed and I came out with two book, though I will defend my actions with the excuse that they were both on sale.

The first was a book on how to throw the prefect tea party. I’m unsure when exactly I will be throwing this tea party, but I shall see. The second book is seeing slightly more action as I’m working my way through it with great joy. Sticky page markers have even been resurrected from the top drawer of my desk, bright pink and cheerfully reminding me where the most humorous passages are so far.

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Ben Macintyre has written a cracker of a book. Did you know that Humpty Dumpty isn’t just a nursery rhyme, it’s a true story? And a fib doesn’t have to be a little white lie, it’s also a type of poetry that is based on Fibonacci’s sequence!

I’m less that fifty pages in, and already it has become my favourite book of the year, if not my favourite book of all the books I’ve read so far. It suits my humour, wonderfully witty and written to appeal to those with an interest in literature and language.

Want to read about how English contains the most phrases to mean “I’m going to the toilet”, or discover the origins of ‘Bastard’. The best phrase so far though has to be “Tingo” from the Easter Islands. According to Macintyre, this means “to borrow objects from a friend’s house, one by one, until there is nothing left.” (pg27)

My advice for today. Read this book! It has reminded me of exactly why I adore literature and language. They are both completely barmy!”