Tag / motivation

by Carol J Forrester

Lost, Found, and Rambling On About Nonsense – Just A Normal Day Then

It we were having coffee, well firstly, let me apologise for my absence. As you have probably realised, I’m not great at maintaining a regular blogging schedule so my attendance at the Weekend Coffee Shares has been somewhat spotty over the last few months. *Ahem* Let me change that to non-existent. I’ve decided to stop saying ‘but I’m back and this time it’s going to be different, I’m going to post on a schedule, build up a reserve of posts to use on the days where I don’t want to write.’ I’ve said it before and it’s never worked so instead I’m going to say this.

I’ve been relatively good this week. Let’s wait until Monday to see about next week.

Apart from my lacking of blogging I’ve had a productive start to 2017. Yesterday I got an email confirming that I’d passed my Accountant Technicians Diploma with distinction, Shadow Dawn is at 61,943 words and growing, and I’ve got some plans lined up for April that I’m feeling pretty excited about. What plans you ask?  Well let me tell you.

As some of you will already know, April is host to two massive writing events. NaPoWriMo [National Poetry Writing Month] and Camp NaNoWriMo [Sister to NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month in November]. This year I’m going to do both.

logo-napowrimoCamp-2017-Participant-Twitter-HeaderYes that’s right. I’m insane enough to think I can write 30 poems in 30 days and do Camp NaNoWriMo.

As the plan stands at the moment, I’m hoping to finish the current draft of Shadow Dawn by the end of March so that I can switch my focus from that story to Solitary Creatures instead. The target is 40,000 words for April, spread over three or four separate stories that all take place around Edwin and Sammy. Doing NaPoWriMo at the same time means that I should also have a daily post for all of April without having to use my Solitary Creatures stuff. That will go up in May instead.

See! Planning. It will all go horribly wrong but the effort is there.

On the plus side, unlike NaNoWriMo, I have completed NaPoWriMo before. You can find all my poems from April 2016 right here on Writing and Works in the drop down beneath poetry. Or you can just click… here. The NaPoWriMo site provides a new prompt everyday and they’re a sign up page where you can find all the participating sites.

It’s a really fun project and a really fun month. If you like poetry then I would highly recommend it.

On another note, I’ve started to notice that when I go back through older posts on this site, (and my older I mean three-six months old), I’m finding bits of flash fiction I’d forgotten I’d wrote. I’m trying to work out a way of bringing some of the older stuff back up to the tip without having to re-blog it constantly. However, I think that might be a conundrum for another day.

On a more exciting turn of events, during the time while I was away from my blog, Writing and Works hit a couple of milestones. We hit 50,000 total views and 20,000 total visitors. I know it doesn’t sound like much compared to the bigger blogs, but it made me happy to see those numbers on my insights screen.

Anywho, enough about me. Let me know how your weeks, years have been going so far. Any plans for April or beyond? Let me know in the comments below. I always love hearing from the people reading my blog, which reminds me! Before I go. About June time I’m thinking about starting up another round of Guest Posts, these ones focusing on writing prompts and creative inspiration. If you think this might be something you’re interested in then give me a shout!

Hope you all enjoyed my little ramble, thanks for reading.

weekendcoffeeshare

by Carol J Forrester

Fake It Till You Make It – Not Letting Nerves Destroy You

When I get nervous I feel physically sick. This weight drops in my stomach, the back of my neck begins to prickle, and I feel like I want to leap out of my own skin. Sometimes I get to the point where I feel like I might start vibrating on the spot there’s so much nervous energy whirling around inside me. That’s how I feel every time I start to think about finishing my book and starting to look for literary agents. When the chance to submit to a poetry competition crosses my desk. When I ask someone to pass an opinion on my writing.

Nerves are just something that I’ve had to learn to live with.

As I’ve got older I’ve managed to reign them in a bit. The first two days of secondary school were hell mostly because of my nerves, and the way that they made me feel like I was about to puke my guts up at any second. These days I’m able to remind myself that it’s okay to be nervous, but it’s not okay to let those things get in the way of what I want to do. It doesn’t always work, but I’m great at pretending I’m confident in situations where I’m actually scared witless. Have you heard of the phrase ‘fake it till you make it?’ Well that is something of a moto for me. Fake like you know it until you do. Fake like you’re a kick-arse, no bullshit taking, cool as chips chick until I am.

I don’t know if it always comes across that way, but I try.

Writing is one of the areas in my life where I’ve learnt that they can be no room for my nerves. If they’re the thing holding me back from hitting publish then I should click that little blue button all the harder. If they’re telling me that I might not be good enough to enter that poetry competition then I should be trying to prove them wrong. If they want to freeze up at the idea I might actually finish this novel within the month then open that laptop and get writing!

If my nerves are holding me back then I’ve got to fight all the harder and go for it because I do not want to be kicking myself fifty years down the line wishing I’d taken more risks when I had the chance.

It doesn’t always work. The first time I went to judo a few months ago I froze in the doorway and almost turned around to head back to the car. That sick feeling, the prickles, I had it all and stepping into the room seemed impossible. I made myself though. It was one of the reasons I decided to take judo up. It was something I’d never done and something I knew I’d find hard to get myself to do at first. It involved new people, a new sport, a new environment. Three things that set off every alarm possible in my head. But once the first session was over and I walked out of there, I felt good about myself. I felt proud that the nerves hadn’t conquered me.

That one incident didn’t cure me. The idea of doing a grading is still enough to bring all those lovely symptoms rushing back, but I’m hoping I’ll get there in the end. The people I do judo with are lovely and supportive, and the coach is such a friendly guy that I don’t worry about looking like an idiot in front of him.

My nerves are something I battle on almost a daily basis, but I’m learning ways to push past the fear and do things that I’m finding I love.

It’s not easy. It’s downright difficult and exhausting at time.

But it’s worth it.

So very, very worth it.

 

by Carol J Forrester

New Year, New Posts, Same Old Me

If we were having coffee, well firstly I would have to apologise for the mess. We’ve got the builders in downstairs putting a roof on the sun roof [which now has an RSJ in it at last!] and the fiancee is busy ripping up floors and carpets upstairs to try and find the end of a cable so we can plum in new light fittings. It turns out that all the electrics for the sun room ran off a single extension-chord so we’ve got to sort those out as well.

So, as you can guess, the house is a bit upside down. Things are moving fast though. Building work started on Monday, the old roof is that pile of scrap on the decking, the new roof is going on as I type this, and by the end of next week we’re looking at being done.

My house will be functional once again, and more importantly, no part of it will be structurally sound. Cue mini-happy parade.

Aside from the obvious structural improvements to the house, 2017 is already shaping up to be a year for positive changes.

This week I started a new weekly feature for the blog, something a little outside of the normal scope for Writing and Works. The series is called Giggle Fit, which is something of an in joke between my fiancee and I. Part One went up on Tuesday and Part Two goes up next Tuesday.

I’ve decided that I’m going to be better about working out at home. Of course this week has been somewhat off-putting. Nothing like trying to do yoga while all you can think about is the building dust beneath your hands and knees, but I’ve managed a workout each morning since Tuesday so I’m pretty chuffed with myself.

Writing wise, this week has been relatively productive. I haven’t been able to get myself back to Shadow Dawn yet, but I’m hoping that this afternoon will change that. I have four writing goals for today:

  • Write a post for the Weekend Coffee Share
  • Finish Part IV of Solitary Creatures [mostly written just needs tweaking]
  • Complete Chapter Twenty-One of Shadow Dawn
  • Schedule the post for the Poetry Anthologia Part VI.

I’ve got quite a list of writing tasks that need sorting out but those are the three I’m most keen to get sorted today.

While I haven’t worked on Shadow Dawn as much as I would have liked, this last week has produced a lot of poetry, some of it a little more racy than normal. I managed to write a new poem for each weekday, and on Thursday I even wrote two:

Summer Girl and Midnight are the two that ended up being somewhat steamy, Midnight more so than Summer Girl.

Overall I feel like I’ve moving into the new year with a more positive, and motivated outlook. You can change for the better at any time of the year, but 2016 was a year that was tainted with loss for me. With my Great-Grandmother’s death at the close of 2015, and the death of a close friend in August, the year was one of grief. 2017 hasn’t made those emotions vanish, but it does feel like a new chapter has started and I can move forward a little better.

That doesn’t mean 2016 was a complete loss of course. I made great headway on my novel, and I grew as a writer. The end of the year also gave me a chance to look back at my blog and see how things have progressed since I started it. Looking at my posting schedule, [which was non-existent] I can see why my stats suffered. For a few weeks I would post daily and then there would be nothing for two months, and then another flood of work. Therefore a resolution for the new year is to come up with a posting schedule that allows for dips in creativity and protects me from having large gaps between posts.

If you would like to have a look at some of my favourite bits from the last couple of years you can find them on my post Going Through The Highlights.

I’m afraid that’s all I’ve got to say this week. As always I’d love to hear how you lovely readers have been? Did you New Years go well? Did you make any resolutions or do you chose to avoid them?

Let me know in the comments below.

Happy New Year to everyone, and all the best for 2017.

weekendcoffeeshare

by Carol J Forrester

Nightmare Before Christmas – Surviving The Weekend

15338643_10155547663678012_4293679249890200497_nGood Afternoon lovely readers. This week we’re still on spiced apple cider instead of tea and coffee I’m afraid. There are six bottles of the stuff still in the kitchen and I’m trying to judge if they’re anywhere close to going off? I don’t suppose you fancy taking one home with you?

This weekend has been something of a trying one and no, I’m afraid I’m not talking about the Tim Burton movie though I will have to watch that at some point in the coming week. This weekend has been a nightmare for some much more mundane reasons.

Firstly, I managed to smash my passenger side wing mirror on Friday evening, we came home to find one of the fish trapped in the tank filter [it proceeded to die the following day], Fiancee accidentally doused the kitchen in soapy water after trying to clean the blender without putting the lid on, and upon pouring water from the kettle into a mug for a relaxing cup of tea to recover from all this, the mug cracked in half.

Things have not been going my way.

But on the bight side, walking in to find the kitchen and my fiancee covered in water was fairly amusing so I might have to count that on the other side of the tally. The blender was on the stop/start setting so it went off again after he thought he’d managed to switch it off.

Luckily, no Christmas decorations were harmed in the process.

Last night I managed to turn things around on the writing front somewhat. I’m finally getting over the stomach bug which struck mid-week and I wrote part three of Solitary Creatures : Monsters Love A Church.

 

‘Well we’re not dealing with Ancients just yet are we hmmm? We’re dealing with something that’s stirring up the Ancients and that’s a whole different kettle of fish because we both know how uppity those bastards are and let’s be honest, it doesn’t take that much to get them muttering in their sleep.’

‘It takes a massive natural disaster, like the one that killed the dinosaurs.’

‘We that’s a bit of an exaggeration if you ask me,’ Edwin shrugged. ‘They’ve made themselves known now and again in the meantime.’

‘There have only been four recorded incidents of the Ancients showing signs of waking,’ growled Sammy. ‘All of them have preceded death tolls that totalled in the millions. Whatever it is that’s got them uppity is bad news and that isn’t an exaggeration.’

Edwin tutted and shook his head. ‘Sammy, Sammy, Sammy. What will I do with you?’ …[Continued]

 

Unfortunately it looks like I’ve lost of the momentum that I built with the blog a few months ago and my daily stats are lucky to spike above twenty recently so despite getting down to some writing I’m aware that things are now how I want them to be. I need to get things back on track.

With 2017 just around the corner I’m starting to make plans for what I want to get done in the new year. January and February will be pretty much dedicated to finishing my AAT qualification but for the rest of the year I want my writing and blog to come first. That means using the next couple of weeks to line up some posts for those two months so focusing on my studies won’t turn Writing and Works into an abandoned husk with tumble weeds bouncing through the posts again.

Solitary Creatures looks like it will become a running series for 2017. I feel like it’s got more body to it than Headquarters and there is the opportunity to work some of my older flash fictions into it as I progress. I’m really looking forward to bringing back some works from a few years ago such as a piece of flash fiction from July 2014 called Mist.

 

“We don’t enjoy being summoned by your kind Grail.” Pulling herself from the mist Merida pressed her fingers to the rickety table-top of the patio furniture and leaned in. “We are not your servants,” she warned.

Grail lowered his morning coffee and pushed it away. It had turned cold the moment the mist crept into his garden. “Why do they always send you,” he frowned. “Is there no one else?”

“No one at all,” said Merida, scowling impatiently. “ The council is less than forgiving when it comes to your crimes.” … [Continued]

 

Aside from that there isn’t much to tell you this week.

Let me know what your plans are for the new year. Is it time for a revamp on your blog? Are you having another crack as last year’s resolutions? Will this be the year that you finally get on and write that blook/short story/play?

Let me know in the comments below.

Happy Holidays everyone.

weekendcoffeeshare

by Carol J Forrester

November: There Might Be Time To Save This Year Yet

If we were having coffee then the first thing I’d be telling you is that this year has not gone to plan, but then again, no year ever goes to plan and I suppose that’s part of the joy of life.

It’s the end of October and with only two months left in 2016, I’m trying to work out what exactly I have achieved for myself over the course of this year. In all honesty, it’s nowhere near as much as I wanted to, especially when it comes down to my book and my blog.

Featured Image -- 4666At the beginning of this year I wanted to revamp Headquarters, but it quickly became apparent that I didn’t have the time to do this without taking time away from my AAT Qualification or my book. So instead I decided to focus on those two things and leave Headquarters for another year.

Then in June I moved house and further delay was added to everything on my to do list as the mania of shifting my life from one property to another took over with all the wonder of solicitors, estate agents and mortgage advisers. My time was spent looking over surveyor’s reports and decoding the cryptic foreign language of contracts. For a few months, there was room for nothing else and the book, my course, and my blog fell by the wayside.Whereas 2015 saw significantly more views and visitors than 2014, it looks like 2016 will only just manage to catch up with the 2015 numbers. Which seems a little strange as I posted over 100 more posts this year compared to last.

All in all, 2016 hasn’t been the year I expected it to be, and moving into 2017 I realised that I won’t be in the position I wanted to be in. I will still have my AAT qualification to complete, Headquarters is still languishing semi-complete, I haven’t had the time for things I wanted on Writing and Works, and there’s that little event called a wedding that I need to plan for 2018. So what am I going to do? I’m going to re-evaluate.

 

It’s important to set yourself goals with a timeline. They help to propel you forward and give you a finishing line to aim for. But remember, if you suddenly realise that you won’t hit that goal it doesn’t mean the end of the world. You just have to re-evaluate where you are, and how you get to where you want to be.

 

As I said, Shadow Dawn is not where I wanted it to be by the end of 2016. My motivation has slumped and died with no signs of reviving any time soon. Finishing by the end of the year looked impossible. If I throw myself into blogging every day I could possibly bring the site stats up, but I would burn out and not have time for anything else. No doubt the content would suffer and instead of enjoying writing posts I would stress about them. Along with everything else this dilemma started to send me into a tail spin.

So I took a step back. I asked myself ‘what is the thing I really want to see finished by the end of the year? Why is this not where I want it? What’s holding me up?’

The answer was my novel. The reason it wasn’t where I wanted was because I was still trying to write bits of the story that I didn’t properly understand. I had a beginning and an end but the middle was a sort of mushy mess that didn’t make much sense at all and the ending was more of a wistful hope than a solid finish.

So I closed down the document holding my draft, and I opened a fresh one.

Instead of spooling out another chapter that seemed to be heading towards a cliff of empty, black nothingness, I wrote a synopsis.

Well I say a synopsis. It was my version of one. My 2,000 word, broken, jumpy, question riddled version of one. But it’s done the trick.

 

Going back to the drawing board can be tough, but remember, without strong foundations the whole house ends up collapsing.

You need foundations, even if they’re made of post-it notes.

 

I now have a four page document that details my story from beginning to end. It tells me how and when the characters interact, where in the time line they are and how I get from beginning to middle to end.

I’m not going to lie. It wasn’t easy to write. At times I wanted to smash my forehead into the keyboard and give up entirely. But in the end it was done and I had something that I felt proud of. Something I could use to finish Shadow Dawn before 2016 comes to a close.

Which is why I’m doing exactly what I said I wouldn’t do two weeks ago. I’m going to do NaNoWriMo.

crest-05e1a637392425b4d5225780797e5a76.png

You’ve heard the phrase ‘kill your darlings’? Well completing this draft of Shadow Dawn means rewriting most of it and adding in a huge amount of content. At least 50,000 words worth. So NaNoWriMo seems like a great motivational tool for getting that done as forcing myself to write every night for a month is how I got to the end of the last draft.

I’m not going to put off writing until November as I’ve got the first six chapters under my belt already and I want to get chapter seven done this weekend. This will mean that I start NaNoWriMo with about 20,000 words and I’ll then add another 50,000 words on during the month. Those 20,000 words won’t be included in my word count for NaNoWriMo as that would be cheating and I want to prove to myself that I can win NaNoWriMo if I put my mind to it.

Right, now that I’ve said NaNoWriMo so many times that the word no longer holds any meaning, I’ll finish up with this.

2016 has not been the year I expected. It’s been filled with excitement and it’s been filled with sadness as well. However, I have survived and I have got to the end a better person than I started. Even if I don’t hit any of the goals I’m still aiming for, I know that I at least got half way there.

This blog and my book are two things I feel passionately about. The book because it’s part of that dream I’ve had since I was five, and this blog because I’ve been able to explore other styles and forms of writing while meeting amazing, supportive people who inspire and motivate me.

2017 will be a new year with new challenges, but I will be the one who chose how I face it, and I still have time to change how I feel when this year ends.

weekendcoffeeshare