I do not love you like the ocean,
I’m much too scared of drowning.
Instead I love you like a battered paperback,
small enough to pocket
on walks from dorm rooms to lecture halls.
I love like the blanket my housemate bought me,
too pink to be polite
but a soft cucoon against my skin
warm on cold winter nights.
I love you like anything that can be forgotten
tucked away or to one side,
but hangs around in the quiet moments
still very much alive.
I do not love you like life itself,
but I love you a little like breath.
In the same way that I do not think about it,
in the same way that to not would be nonsense
in the same way that I don’t know how to stop
without the pressure in my chest building
to a point where I think I might shatter me pieces.
I suppose I love you a little like breathing.
I do not love you like the ocean though.
With you I have never been afraid of drowning.
Love how you made it intimate… not drowning but breathing… a perfect way to describe love.
It was a wonderful prompt and I loved the examples. Writing my own piece turned out to be trickier thought and I ended up trying to pull out some really concrete imagery as I felt like a few of my past attempts were getting lost in trying to be too poetic
I find it amazing how some really concrete images gets original by just negating them
Love that last line.
Thank you Jane
🙂
This is palpable with imagery and image details – very real and a joy to read!
Thank you. I wanted to write something down to earth
I really loved reading this….love not like drowning, but like breathing. Wonderful!
Thank you. It look me a while to find the words for what I wanted to say but I’m pretty happy with how this turned out
That last line is stellar!
This works so well. I think you are talking about a very deep love here.
Beautiful crafted words brming the essence of love in it’s simplest form.Loved this one Carol.
Such a lovely piece and that last line- oh my!
I love the contrasts in your poem. This line is wonderful…
I do not love you like life itself,
but I love you a little like breath.
Dwight
The first five lines could stand on their own as a pocket love poem, Carol – I love them! The whole poem is so gentle and intimate poem, and it speaks from the heart. I also love the final line. 🙂
Nice beginning and ending with the ocean and fear of drowning.
A fresh love poem, Carol. I especially like these lines:
In the same way that I do not think about it,
in the same way that to not would be nonsense
in the same way that I don’t know how to stop
Ah, to love someone like breathing… What is more basic and gentle and essential than that.
this is absolutely breathtaking, I love that you managed to make me understand true love even though I’ve never actually been in love! Your writing is honestly wonderful, keep it up! 🙂
Thank you, that’s really lovely to hear.