Poetry
Comments 24

Where The Water Breaks #DVersePoets #TuesdayPoetics

There’s a sheen to the water,

a swirl of slick, slurp, sludge

squirming up the beach

surfing old tidal rips

to suck down feathered flurries,

their bone stuck wings

submerged to make stones

with panicked beady eyes,

staring up at a surface

mirroring

startled starlings swooping

in a grey choked sky

and a small child

with a face still plump young,

trying to break the glass

with one fat finger,

all the while calling

for his mother to come

and look.

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This entry was posted in: Poetry

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Carol Forrester is a writer trying to be a better one. She’s currently working on a poetry collection 'It's All In The Blood'. She has a 2:1 BA degree in history from Bath Spa University, enjoys judo at least twice a week, and tries to attend poetry events around the Midlands when she can. Her flash fiction story ‘Glorious Silence’ was named as River Ram Press’ short story of the month for August 2014 and her short story ‘A Visit From The Fortune Teller’ has been showcased on the literary site Ink Pantry. Her poems ‘Sunsets’ and ‘Clear Out‘ were featured on Eyes Plus Words, and two of her poems were included in the DVerse Poets Pub Publication ‘Chiaroscuro’ which is available for purchase on amazon. More recently her poem ‘Until The Light Gets In‘ was accepted and published at The Drabble and her poem ‘Newborn’ was published by Ink Sweat & Tears. She has been lucky enough to write guest posts for sites such as Inky Tavern and Song of The Forlorn and has hosted a number of guest bloggers on her site Writing and Works.

24 Comments

  1. AH, it’s so powerful how you define this sight with a quick pace and intricate image patterns, which speaks to me of its urgency. I love this bit, particularly the s-sounds and alliteration: “a swirl of slick, slurp, sludge/squirming up the beach/surfing old tidal rips/to suck down feathered flurries”.
    Through the eyes of a child, it becomes such a potent image.

    • Thank you, I’m glad you liked the poem. I had a slight panic with this as I hit publish and wordpress crashed. Thought I’d lost the poem entirely.

  2. And by the time the child is big enough to know what he’s looking at…what will be left to look at? Good poem. Our children don’t deserve what we’re foisting upon them.

  3. A powerful write, lots of excellent word-smithing. When I came to the end, where the child tries to break the glass/, for me the poem became allegorical (break the glass in case of fire).

  4. I too admire that scene with the small child in the ending. I hope the child will grow up to learn what is happening to his world.

  5. I agree with Sarah about the sense of urgency in your poem, Carol. The opening lines create a clear picture of the ‘swirl of slick, slurp, sludge’ – great use of sibilance by the way! We have palm oil on Norfolk beaches which has not just affected birds and other sea life but also dogs – some have died after ingesting some of the sludge. I like the way you create an image of a sludge monster with ‘squirming up the beach / surfing old tidal rips’.

  6. Wow, so nicely done. The alliteration and word choices really added to the intensity and urgency of the scene. I like the way it builds up to the innocent curiosity of the child. What a vivid and disturbing image.

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